Tuesday, December 17, 2013

awkward family (christmas) photos

Aside from being the rosy cozy snowsy time of year, the holidays are a time to stumble down memory lane and be reminded what an awkward youth you once were, at least for me anyway. [Tangent/Sidenote: I'm officially in seasonal hyperdrive, ya'll. Over the weekend I binged on good tidings going to the Dickens of a Christmas in downtown Franklin and seeing the Rockettes at the Grand Ol Opry. Sprinkled in, I finished up some shopping (online, naturally) and helped decorate the family tree whilst listening to my mother's extensive collection of Christmas CDs. I then actually braved the mall for several hours and watched the Colbert Christmas Special.  So I guess what I'm saying is I am practically oozing egg nog. ] Our family's tree runneth over with a mishmash of nice store bought ornaments and ones that are made of glorified garbage...glitter and yarn encrusted dixie cup snowflakes and toilet paper St. Nicks are hither and yon.  [Tangent: The latter is one that my mom said my class made for the governor as part of a class project. What I wouldn't give to know an elected official's reaction upon learning that he was hanging a felt covered charmin tube on the state's tree.] Then there are the many tree trimmings featuring the class pictures of myself and my siblings! Adorable hairbows for days. 
this girl loved a jaunty bow
As if that wasn't enough,  there's the array of awkward family photos creciendoing across the entry table, so when you walk in you are practically smacked in the face with bold fashion choices and poufy hair...and of course SANTAS! Here are a few of my favorites [...which are photographs of photographs because I am too lazy to scan.]

Circa 1983
It all started like most kids do...being terribly horrifed of a nice bearded dude [Tangent: My how times have changed.]. My sister meanwhile looked just plain bored with the precedings. [Tangent: Also, how half-assed is this Santa? I am 90% certain from the waist up, he is wearing a henley!]

 Circa 1986

I guess by this time, Hickory Hollow (RIP) has worked out the kinks with it's Santas. This one looks pretty legit!  Also, look at my super sweet velour lacoste sweatshirt. When I pointed what a fashion forward 4 year old I was, my mom shared that it was indeed my brother's hand me down. When I chastised her for putting her small daughter, who already is plagued with a very unflattering boy hairdo in a boys shirt, she pointed out that because I am wearing a large angel medallion, my femininity is saved. Rejoice .

Circa 1989
First grade was probably my cutest year...I was two years away from falling down an awkward spiral that would last for about 8 years. Life was good!  This year, my Santa picture was taken with my elementary school principal, Mr. Frank. [Tangent: I really am glad I grew up when I did. Students in my elementary school actually had a good relationship with our principal. Every grade took field trips to his farm, and by the time you had ascended to Middle School, Mr Frank had either pulled one of your baby teeth out or paddled you for getting in trouble. Those were the days. ]

Circa 1990
OK. I don't watch Duck Dynasty so I can't confirm or deny that this dude isn't that old kook from that show, but if not- he is quite possibly just some homeless fella that wandered into 100 Oaks and put on a red suit. As sketch as he looks, I must say 1990 was a good year for Kimmie! Look at that sweet corduroy romper!

Circa 1993ish
Oh god, who is that 47 year old woman who took over my body!?!? I realize no Santa is present in this photo, but there are too many things going on in this picture for me not to share.

Circa 2004(?)
 
I think this is the last picture I took with Santa, and to be honest I am not even 100% where it was taken, but I do know that it looks like this believable Santa just told me a dirty joke and I am trying to look amused. It's probably my favorite of the bunch. 

Happy Holidays!

8 comments:

  1. 2004 Santa looks just like my grandpa Harvey telling a dirty joke, the face is the same!!! Nailed it ;)
    I love to see these old photos of you!
    And as a mom who's pretty much mastered this, I'll let you know. Pairing an oversized angel medallion with a boy's shirt does cancel out the fact that it's a boy shirt. We've done this move many, many times. High five your mom for me ;)

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    1. I don't know if I wanted to be a boy when I was three...or if my parents wanted that for me...but I swear when I look back at pictures from that age, I look like a gentleman. This picture and another where I am lounging on the couch wearing a Chicago Bears shirt stand out.

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  2. Aww! You're so cute in all of the them! God, that Santa IS Si from Duck Dynasty!!

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    1. I don't like the way he is touching my leg!

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  3. Personal style was exactly the same from the late 80s to the early 90s I see! Haha ;p A tad of deja vu looking through the photos. I must go to mom's and do this tomorrow :)

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    1. Please do!!! And post! I'd love to see if your collection of stirrups and shoelace bows can hold a candle to mine.

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  4. Thank you for sharing these pics and making my night! hahaha! How cute are you?!?! And I LOVE Santa winking slyly in the last picture!

    ps. Thanks for telling me about poshmark!

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