Wednesday, September 25, 2013

fat kid reviews: monster cereals

When I was little, cereal never really floated my boat. Sure...sometimes, I would eat a bowl of shredded wheat or something, but sugarry cereals were something that were barely on my radar.  [Tangent:Contrary to my adult fat kid inclinations, my family raised me reading food labels from a young age.  I always say we were not a Kool Aid family, we were a Crystal Lite clan. In fact, as a child I would be the kid drinking diet coke as a "big treat"] Even in college, when my peers, stoned and sober, were gorging themselves on salad bowls full of fruit loops, I never really partook. Clearly, I was missing something, right?

Cut to last week when I went to 2 different Targets with my ginger as he was on some Tolkien quest to find the set up 5 vintage packaged General Mills monster cereals, including the two "lost" flavors from the late 80's adorably called Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy.  [Tangent: Such deja vu to the search for the limited edition Lays chip flavors from Springtime. ] He went to several others and at every turn he kept coming up short, finding just the standard Count Chocula and Frankenberry or not finding the vintage packaging he hoped for. Fortune struck this weekend when we were driving home from East Tennessee and his longtime friend and former roomie sent him a photo of an end cap featuring his Valhalla- the complete set of five white boxes emblazoned with effeminate and not at all menacing monsters. Naturally, that Target was his first stop after work the following day. [Tangent: So yeah, that means an adult man left Target with 5 regular sized boxes of children's cereal in his cart. No big deal.]

 Since I was clearly was deprived as a child of marshmallow laden cereals, we decided a fat kid review was in order. [Tangent: Like most things, I didn't half ass it... I made a scientific tasting palette....kinda like a cheese tray at a fancy party...only constructed from napkins and ballpoint pen and instead of brie and camembert, it contains cereal pellets shaped like PacMan ghosts...so yeah, other than that- completely like a fancy cheese plate.]


The whole experience was kind of gross. Maybe my palette is not refined enough to distinguish the intricacies that make Frute Brute different than Frankenberry...other than Frankenberry was more gross. It tasted like strawberry Pez and Frute Brute tasted more like if you soaked cheerios in Hawaiian Punch. However, I tried to remain objective and give them all a chance.

I will say that out of all of them, I could see myself eating a whole bowl of Boo Berry and/or Yummy Mummy, but it would take me roughly a year to consume a box. Although Boo Berry creeped me out a bit because a breakfast cereal shouldn't be navy, I gave it a chance and was surprised that it wasn't as crazy overpowering as the others. It is clearly Jamie's favorite as shown below where he is impersonating the sleepy eyed, jaunty hat wearin' and jazz handsin' Boo. Not so intimidating for a ghost, right? [Tangent: He kinda reminded me of the WB frog...but in ghost form. ]


I opted to endorse the limited edition deliciousness of Yummy Mummy as the least gross of the bunch. There really aren't enough orange cream cereals on the market, and god only knows how I love a creamsicle or orangey soda.  Here's me pledging my allegiance by making googly eyes at the clearly flamboyant, and thus disinterested Yummy Mummy.


Happy eating ya'll!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

wait, you don't watch tv?

The other day I was reading a post by Mr. Tiny over at Wacky Tacky where he fessed up on not understanding people that don't watch TV. I found myself totally nodding along uncontrollably throughout the whole post in which he details making sweatshirts based around the Sweatshirt Monsters episode of Leave It To Beaver. I admire people that have this off the grid (or at least off the cable) lifestyle, but it's so foreign to me that you might as well tell me you poop out of your belly button.

This is not news to any of you guys. I wish I could be a cool kid and say that I could throw my TV out today, and my life would be totally enriched, but that would be a blatant lie. I can't even get rid of cable! I can feel your scathing judgement of my priorities, but I don't think admitting this reliance on TV makes me weak, shallow or somehow uneducated. It just makes me honest. I know my weaknesses and I am powerless over them.

clearly this was not my favorite from Stan and Jan Berentstain

In addition to my family and friends and all that cliche nonsense, I think TV has kinda formed part of my identity and I'm not sure if I'd be the same without it. So many of my relationships are contingent upon or strengthened by a shared love of some show or series. It's the common thread that can always tie me to others. [Tangent: TV is the great uniter. If only Syria got Family Matters, perhaps we could work things out much easier and find some common footing. Too soon? Truly that's an oversimplification, but at least it shows that I'm watching some news amid the garbage.]

The other night I went out for a friend's birthday and I noted that about 90% of the evening was discussing Saved By the Bell episodes or referencing Seinfeld or other such pressing issues. That's one of the things I love about that group of friends is that they will nerd out with me over older pop culture. Then I have my Bravo nerds that I text with about a particularly drama-filled episode of  Real Housewives... my Breaking Bad freak out partners  [Tangent: I mean holy god, I needed that after Sunday's "Ozmandias" episode. WTF!!??! BABY HOLLY!!! I stress cried considerably.]...even my "Hey put on TLC right!" now contingent.  I guess I have a hard time believing not everyone has these bonding touchstones.

Oddly enough, 2 of my siblings who grew up in the same TV permeated abode that I did,  are in long term relationships with people that grew  up in other countries/not around American television. [Tangent: That kinda blows my mind...mostly because me and Jamie can have elaborate 30 minute discussions about Dawsons Creek and a lot of our date nights are based around watching a show together.] Although I love both of their choices in mates, I remember thinking multiple times, "so what do you guys even talk about? Do they not get your Full House references?" Not to say I'm vapid or one dimensional because truly I have a lot of things that make me tick, however I can't help but think anything can be somehow tied to an episode of Perfect Strangers or Project Runway. [Tangent: Maybe subconsciously that's why I've always had a thing for gingers, because on some level their pale complexion likely makes them more indoorsy and likely to be TV dependent.  They get me.]

Sunday, September 15, 2013

treat yo self 2013! perfectly posh

For someone that never wears lipstick and is 2 months late on getting a haircut, it may be hard to believe how obsessed I get with beauty notions. [Tangent: In college, I sold Mark cosmetics for like 2 years, mostly to get the discount for myself..and then worked for Victoria's Secret Beauty for almost 3 years for basically the same reason. At the cost of looking and smelling like a junior prostitute, I amassed a sizeable collection of makeup, scents and skincare. This definitely doesn't make me an expert but I am an enthusiast.] Anytime a new brand comes about I get really excited and of course want to try it.

When my friend Alex told me about trying some of the Perfectly Posh line of products, I of course wanted to immediately investigate. [Tangent: Usually I am super leary of a work-from-home brands, mostly because I don't know which ones have a focus on product quality and which ones are fronts for pyramid schemes. We've all been to "parties" where we have ended up spending a hundred bucks on products we didn't plan on and,  then were left thinking, "whoah! where is the party part again?". It's extremely hard to tell in the saturated market run rampant with brands so it's sometimes hard to separate the good from the bad. ] The extensive line of natural products is relatively new. In fact they are celebrating their second anniversary next month.

 Truthfully, I am a sucker for cute packaging and branding, but I vehemently tried to stick to the whole, "remember, Kimmie, it's what's on the inside that counts."

I mean hello cute packaging.
 Therefore, I am really happy to report that the ingredients in the Perfectly Posh line are all natural and all of the goodies in their line fit their mission statement:

paraben-free and paraffin-free + free of sulfates including SLS  + highest-quality essential oils and fine phthalate-free fragrances + cruelty-free and do not test on animals! 

When I expressed interest in trying their product, at the urging of my friend who knows I love a new and cool product, the Perfectly Posh rep sent me a giant package of samples, which of course overjoyed and overwhelmed me.  Immediately, I started dabbing my nappy cuticles with The Cuticle Cutie and scrubbing my lips with Tree Hugger Lip Scrub. [Tangent: Let's be honest, I never thought a lip scrub is a staple product, but its one of those things you try and immediately are like, "where have you been all my life!?! I do think the name Tree Hugger is a little misleading, because I immediatly worried my lips would taste like the inside of a Birkenstock, but I couldn't be more relieved. It had a brown sugar and subtle strawberry taste, like the yummiest snickerdoodle ever. Because it was all natural, of course I nibbled off the excess that didn't absorb into my lips. #fatkidsnacktime.] After trying a good bit of the product line, I found some definite standouts.

 The Snarky Bar ($13)

 I was super dubious of this product. [Tangent: It's been a good 20 years since bar soap has willingly touched my skin, with the exception of maybe a trip to a cheap motel, where the dusty bar soap is my only option. To me, I remembered them always leaving a weird film on my skin and not being user friendly.] This thing is INTENSE (all caps) and is like a medium grit sand paper block that makes your body porpoise smooth by the end of your shower.  I used it to lather up before shaving, and daresay that it was the greatest shave of my life. When I came to the end of my sample, I was legitimately sad about it, which means I will be ordering one.


Lemon Rice Slather ($18)

When it comes to scent, I am incredibly picky. If it smells like an opium den or a baked good or a Bonne Bell LipSmacker, I am not interested. I just wanna smell like a dryer sheet or a something light and citrussy [Tangent: Like if Crystal Light made body care.] The body butter itself is really thick and my freakishly dry skin drank it up. My arms went from sand paper rough to baby ass soft. High five, slather!


The Stripper: De-Tox Mud Mask ($24)

Dang! This stuff is intense! If I am gonna go to the trouble to apply a facial mask, I would like one that doesn't pussy foot around. [Tangent: My face is equal parts completely dry and flaky and 13-year-old-going-through-puberty greasy so once in a while it needs to be tended to.] After using this just once, I pretty much felt like the texture of my skin was better. It is a little pricey, but I may just give in and get it because now that I have "freed the radicals" from my face...I don't want those damned radicals getting back in there.
I also fell pretty head over heels for the Tea Tree and Neem Hair and Scalp Mask [Tangent: So let me just come clean with it, I have some dandruff...so over the years, tea tree oil has pretty much saved me from being completely disgusting. This stuff was super clarifying and easy to use for this low maintenance gal.] and the Hot Pepper Sha-Bang Butter, which is chock fulla capcacin so helps with achey muscles.

After writing the girl that sent me the samples, I told her I wanted to write about her products [Tangent: I wasn't even compensated or anything....I was just high on pampering products and wanted to totally geek out on the internet about them.] She was so thrilled she set up some great exclusive offers for my readers.

If you order through THIS LINK (which identifies you as a reader of this here blog) through 9/22, you can the following awesome benefits:

FREE Tree Hugger lip balm for $35 order or more.

FREE plain posh bombinator for $65 or more

$100 orders receive free shipping

This is in addition to the deals available the other great September promotions! [First is the September Special, it's a warming scrub and warming butter for $39. Then there the Spooky Posh gift set: It's 3 products Pumpkin Scrub, pumpkin mask, and a lip balm set for $49 with a Witch Be Gone all Mixed Up Fragrance included.]

Have you ever heard of this stuff before? Or am I just way behind the curve? Either way, I hope you give it a try...and if you do, let me know what's good. Treat Yo Self!


Thursday, September 12, 2013

making disability facebook officlal

For a few months, I have been helping and watching my best friend of 20 years, Kristen, go through a huge life change. For one thing, my platonic life partner and her lovely husband are expecting a baby, which is huge and life altering since I can still remember playing Barbies with her, I find this whole thing pretty damned surreal. On the day they anticipated finding out whether they'd be having a him or a her, they got some news they didn't anticipate...at all. After extensive testing, they learned their sweet little girl, Claire, was going to be born with Down Syndrome and an operable heart defect.

Having been at her home when she and her hubby got the confirmation from the amnio, I can affirm that it was one of those moments when the earth kind of stopped moving for a few seconds. The air was completely sucked out and there were no words that could change anything. [Tangent: As I know, genetics aren't something that you cure with prayer or good tidings, they simply are what they are and all you can do is make the choice of how you deal with them.] Everything that they expected was now totally different and suddenly their life got a whole new set of challenges.

care of Safety Third's etsy shop
Because my friends are awesome, of course they see Claire are the superhero she is going to be [Tangent: I almost feel like she is going to be like one of the X-Men. I mean all of them had mutated designer genetics and look how they turned out. ] and despite being scared semi-shitless, they are completely up for the challenge. Within days  of finding out, she was connecting to other mothers of children with Down Syndrome and starting to make a game plan out. [Tangent: For years, Kristen has been one of my biggest advocates. I let A LOT of bullshit slide, because I just don't feel like fighting for it- yet she has never shied away from busting heads for me. We have always been very upset about parents that clearly do not deserve disabled kids. The ones that use them as a means of getting a check in the mail or who treat them as a ticket to getting pity and pad themselves as a sympathetic person.]  Between she and her husband, that little girl is getting born into an optimum environment and for that I am extremely thankful. She and Josh get to be some of the good ones.
from cafepress
For months, seriously, I have been itching to write about this because it is something that deserves being spoken about...but it was not officially public knowledge...rather... It wasn't Facebook official. It seems like such a weird thing that in 2013, that's a step that is necessary in life...but it is. Kristen and I talked about it a lot. Although most people she interacted with regularly knew all about baby Claire, several people didn't. People talk and made assumptions and she didn't want her arrival into the world peppered with speculation and talk. "Does her baby look a little Downsy to you?" or "Do you think she knew before hand?" [Tangent: I can only liken it to a celebrity feeling like they have to release a public statement before news breaks. It was best to do it on her terms.]

Only the things that were the most scary were people's responses. [Tangent: Either as someone with a disability or as someone who loves someone with a disability will confirm,  people say awkward things when they don't know what to say. Whether they overly sugarcoat or are overly dour- these things will happen, so you pretty much have to go into these things with no expectations.] . Luckily, so far no one has completely stuck their foot in their mouth to the point of no return. Everyone in the facebook thread is super supportive and encouraging of my friends as they should be. 
 
from the National Down Syndrome Coalition

Although I find it bizarre that everything has to be made public now in social media in order to make things official. [Tangent: I know, as a blogger and person that lives on social media...that's a bold statement to make.]. I also find it incredibly refreshing. When I was born, I was a genetic surprise and there was no information superhighway to connect people to offer support and clear the air on things. It would have been much easier if my mom or dad had a profile in the early 80s where just once they could say, "Yes. My daughter has a disability and we are totally cool with it." instead of breaking the news one by one to people in their lives or having to constantly be met with surprised looks.  

It's a strange world we live in now  and I can't wait to welcome my sweet new "niece", Claire, into it. She's gonna be awesome. [Tangent: Please control me from buying every onesie in this post!]


from cafepress

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

let me see your peacock : the la arboretum

Last night, I was sitting with my ginger vigilantly watching Face-Off. In this installment, they went to the Los Angeles Arboretum and Botanical Gardens to get inspiration for mother earth style makeup. [Tangent: For those too pretentious or poor for premium cable, Face Off is not a televised adaptation of the Travolta/Cage classic film, it is quite the opposite. The Face Off I'm referring to is a SYFY channel reality competition show for special effects makeup artists. People always seem super confused when I pepper conversations with things like, "did you see that turtle man they made on Face Off?" It's as if they stepped out of the 90s action movie for a pee break, and missed a hugely random plot point. The world's biggest Shamylan twist! They didn't, they just clearly they don't watch as much reality TV as me.] The host of the show mentioned that these extensive natural gardens have served as the setting for many things pop culturally relevant (but in no particular order):  Tarzan, scenes in 2/3 of the  Jurassic Park movies and the Katy Perry ROAR video.

I was particularly invested in this challenge, because I had been to the inspiration location, the LA Arboretum, about a month ago. [Tangent: I realized while reading all about Rae's recent trip to Southern California that I did a terrible job of documenting my adventures. She did such a good job. Even as a blogger, I am really unnatural with things like that. To me, it always feels like I am coming across as your Aunt Linda foisting upon you piles of pictures from her recent singles cruise.] As I was watching the makeup artisans constructing earthen mothers out of foam latex and silk flowers,  and got really excited as if I myself had planted every tree in that place myself.  Shockingly, I didn't.


Truthfully, I thought I would hate the place. Although I think flowers are pretty, I have zero interest in them. My dad grew up on a farm and somehow shared this enthusiasm for horticulture with all my family except for me. [Tangent: Not only am  I impatient and just disinterested, but not unlike high jumping, digging in the dirt on your hands and knees is not the most practical past time for me.] Additionally, there were birds running apeshit loose on the premises who had absolutely no regard for personal boundaries, which raises a red flag that perhaps this is not the place for Kimmie.  [Tangent: I loathe 90% of birds. With wings, talons and the possible gift of speech,  their capabilities as a species concern me.] The positive aspect was most of the birds were peacocks, which seem fairly non-threatening on the terrifying bird richter scale. Slowly but surely, I got used to these pretty peacocks sneaking up on me and popping out of bushes.  [Tangent: This is a major step for the girl who had a panic attack when a chicken landed on her head in 6th grade.]

clearly my niece, Ellie, shares my trepidation of the giant peacock lurking under the tree

not at all zoomed. This sucker was right next to me.
check out this creeper

So if you happen to be in the LA area and need a break from smog and fame whores, seriously stop ito the LA Arboretum and Botanical Gardens...if nothing else...it will give you an excuse to sing this non-stop in context:


*I know...I know. That's a lot of Katy Perry for one post!

Monday, September 9, 2013

into the mystic...finding psychic friends

Since being on the world wide web, I have learned that the internet is chock fulla creeps and weirdos, but it's also full of really awesome souls and kindreds that I probably would never know if not for some strange binary code of beep boops that I don't quite understand. It's kind of a beautiful thing.

A couple weeks ago I went to go meet a new internet friend and as we chit-chatted away and got to know each other, we somehow got to talking about religion....which transitioned to taboos...which transitioned to her revealing that she can read tarot cards and is a medium of sorts. [Tangent: OK! A few things. 1.) I know it's allegedly frowned upon by society to discuss politics or religion with strangers, but they weren't raised by my daddy. He was never one to shy away from these things with people upon introduction or just standing with in line with them at Publix. He wasn't much for pop culture laced small talk, I guess. Instead of asking about the royal baby or the weather, he would delve into the situation in the Middle East with people he would happen upon. 2.) Perhaps normal people would also be scared to see what the future held in store, for fear that they were gonna choke on a chicken bone the next day or worse yet that they would be totally mundane, but I was too blinded by the golden opportunity. Fear, for once, didn't get the best of me. 3.) No. I'm not a sudden pagaen or anything like that. I'm just the same ol fallen Catholic you know and love.] These supernatural leanings were all facts about her that I had no idea about prior to the visit, and simply things I could not let go. Within seconds of hearing the words, "I read tarot cards." I was begging her to pull them out and shuffle them.
 
they weren't these I saw on etsy... but how cute are they?

I won't go into too many particulars, but this chick totally had me pegged on a lot of things. At first, or as she started I was like, "OK...anyone who reads my blog knows that" or "This would apply to any 30 year old girl." but then a few things made me seriously go "WHOAH!" Like as in, I may have cried thinking how creepily spot on  and specific they were. [Tangent: She did tell me that there are things in my life that I don't talk about in my blog and that those are probably the things I need to write about. These are the things she knew so much about, which really shocked me.]  I know I am being completely vague, but all you need to know is that it was a fairly heady experience, which is why it has taken me a while to write about it. In fact, most of what she said was really positive and hopeful. These are things I needed to hear.

Maybe I could be way off base, but I feel like everyone my age is semi-intrigued with the idea of knowing whats to come. If you grew up with a mood ring or a fortune teller fish, then you probably were unknowingly tapping into your mystical side.
I had one of these in high school. It probably always said jealous.

Also, point my left finger at Miss Cleo and my right finger at Dionne Warwick. These ladies, between episodes of daytime TV during the summer, really tantalized me into thinking I needed some psychic friends....well, now I have one...and I don't have to pay 99 cents a minute. 

 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Greekin' out at the greek fest

Remember that episode of Full House where Uncle Jesse's Greek family, who we'd never heard from before or since, comes to town to visit? Everyone inexplicably wears traditional ethnic outfits and DJ inadvertently marries her cousin by walking around a table. [Tangent: I think it was her cousin. It was about 20 years ago that I saw this episode and my understanding of the Tanner/Kadsopolis family tree was always a bit murky. However, I think it was a distant cousin by marriage so it wasn't as if it was too morally reprehensible.] Jesse is tempted by some Esmerelda-looking random who tagged along with his family and hilaritity and lots of traditional dancing ensues.

Such was my annual trip to the Nashville Greek Fest [Tangent: Well, kind of. Minus John Stamos, but a gal can dream, right?]. I try to make it to this event every year, because I have never met a gyro that I didn't like, plus the cuteness of the little moustachioed gents on their logo overwhelms me.

I dare you not to smile
While I was there, I got to spend some quality with my old friend Beth and my new friend Alicia. It was like a trifecta of bloggers on wheels. [Tangent/shameless plug: Check out Beth's Blog and Alicia's blog post haste. Oh, and while I'm at it, I just made a whole page of cool blogs you should check out right here, so humor me and look it over- maybe you will find something that clicks.]

It was sunny, I'm not high- I promise. Also, note my attempt to dress "Greek"

I, also, stuffed my pie hole full of spanakopita  , which I consider healthy because I focus on the spinach part and not the pastry element. All this while metlting in 90 degree weather and listening to very upbeat Greek music. OPA! [Tangent: I would have taken pictures, but I am really bad at photodocumenting food, because I have no patience and usually just wanna put it in my mouth immediately! ....that's what she said. I know....I know I had it coming.]

We contemplated getting a charicature, but I am always nervous to pay money only to have them point out some flaw I try to ignore. Wait, my teeth buck out that bad!?!? I thought only I saw that. Besides I was too busy heeding the siren song of the giant display of Matroyshkas, as happens every time. [Tangent: I will try not to point out the obvious that Russian dolls are indeed Russian and what are they doing at the Greek fest. I have not yet cracked that unsolved mystery, but I have been obsessed with them since I was young, so I try to ignore their obvious ethnic crossover.] They are so colorful and pretty; it's easy to be distracted.

Gene Simmons, Lehnin and Harry Potter....all legit Greek gods.


 I picked up and put down almost every little wooden tschotchkeon that table...and trust that resisting a matroyshka with an otter on it too some inner strength, but I did pick up some pretty Greek Russian treasures. Behold some badass broaches I purchased:


As we were leaving we also got pulled into a display of men in jaunty vests involving themselves in a dance. Part of this fancy footwork  involved one of the guys picking up a card table with a shot glass of Ouzo atop...WITH HIS MOUTH! [Tangent: Although the dance we witnessed involved 5 men dancing around a table, I don't the rules about going around a table multiple times, as learned on that inspiring Full House applied. They weren't married. Polygamy is likely frowned upon in Mediterranean culture. ]


All this festiveness...and I got to see what my boyfriend would look like as a peasant in Athens, so all around the day was a win. [Tangent: I think swarthy maiden is the term you are grasping for.]
Although the festival has drawn to a close this year, keep up with the event's website to see which dates in September 2014, you can fill your ears with Greek Music and your bellies with gyro meat!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

made in nashville: kerfluffles marshmallows

UPDATE! Since publishing this post, a fire occurred at the Kerfluffles kitchen and they had to close their doors to business. This is a very sad thing for those of us that lived for those mallows. However, shameless plug...my friend Jenna, who was my Kerfluffles link/hook-up, is now sharing her awesome with the world in new and exciting ways...bookmaking. Check out her work and get excited about her upcoming online shop. 

In an effort to support my amazing town and talented friends who own/work at small businesses, I have decided to try my hand at a semi-regular feature called 'Made in Nashville' [Tangent: I know my originality cup runneth over.]. Let's hope this one sticks.

I first met, marshmallow maker, Jenna a couple months ago at a Nashville blogger meet up. [Tangent: A few months ago, I got invited into a little network of Nashville bloggers, which has really taught me a ton. The group I met Jenna in is all ladies in their 20's and 30s who really do bolster one another 100%. Sometimes my non-blogger friends don't care about things like search terms or crazy fans or favorite posts, but this group of dames totally gets it and they all have definite opinions and perspective on things...which makes for lively conversation. I'm totally working on a Bravo pitch: The Real Bloggers of Nashville. Andy Cohen, can you hear me? Let's make that happen. I wanna throw coffee in someone's face. Don't make it weird.] She is the sweet sassafrass behind Kitty Cat Stevens, in fact she is saved in my phone as Jenna Kittycat Stevens. One of the first things that intrigued me about her is her job. She is the maker, food stylist and taste tester for Kerfluffles Marshmallows. [Tangent: I feel this occupation is almost fictitious it is so danged dreamy. I imagine it is what I wrote down on when "when I grow up" assignments in elementary school behind ice cream inventor and professional puppy wrangler.]

c/o Kerfluuffles
 I know what you are thinking, "what the hell is so special about a mallow?" but seriously, there are some savvy confectioners out there taking the genre to art form levels. [Tangent: I have written about this before here.]. Kerfluffles are definitely not your granny's boring jet puffed marshmallows. These sweet cubes of yum are made using all-natural ingredients...that means the mocha chip have ground coffee beans and the lemon meringue have actually lemon juice. Having tried her product at other meet-ups and being a fan of her yummy banana bread flavor,  they were immediately on my radar and I knew I had to share the joy of Kerfluffles with the masses, and that they should pave the way for more Made in Nashville Features. [Tangent: Can I just take this opportunity to let you know how many other cheesy pun titles I thought of for this post. Everyday I'm Kerflufflin'; Feelin' Mallow. etc.]


Among the myriad of cool thing about this company, which started out on Kickstarter and is truly an example of the power of crowd sourcing, is that they release new thematic flavors every month and are always changing things up flavorwise. For example, now with September upon us, they have released 3 new flavors, which I have personally taste tested and which are all completely incredible. [Tangent: Especially the Cookies N Cream, which were gobbled down by my trivia team at Flying Saucer within moments of getting them in my grubby hands!]

Triple Berry Chip



Banana Pudding



Cookies 'N' Cream


 When Jenna brought me my sack o' samples, it was a seriously a squeal moment. So many options!  For days after I integrated marshmallows into everything I crammed into my pie hole. [Tangent:Although I did terribly gluttonous things like dip the vanilla bean variety into Nutella, I felt 100% OK with it because Kerfluffles are a low cal, dare I say "healthy" alternative. I promise I'm not delusional. These mallows are free of preservatives, dyes, artificial flavors, or sulfites. Most flavors are also gluten- and dairy-free and they have a vegan option on the way. Despite being a carnivore and dubious of things that are labelled "vegan", I tasted it and they were equally yummy.] Like a fine wine, I decided to share with you some of my favorite pairings for Kerfluffles. 





OK, maybe with beer is a little questionable, but I was at a bar when I got the delivery...it just made sense to give it a shot! The possibilities are pretty endless, and if you have any yummy ideas for what to do with these gourmet treats, post them in the comments! I have a bag left and need ideas. I am holding out for construction of the most decadent S'more ever. If you wanna learn more about this product made in Nashville, click here.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Garfunkel and Oates missed connection

In 2013, I've started a tradition of spending national bank holidays with my nearest and dearest comedians laughing to the point of incontinence.  I'm nearly 100% certain that's the intention of labor day, right? [Tangent: You may remember my Memorial Day tradition.]

Yesterday I continued the trend by spending my evening with Garfunkel & Oates with my ginger and my friend Ryan. If you aren't familiar, get to the Youtubes and drink in their NSFW songs. Smart hilarious comediannes are unfortunately not as common as one would hope. [Tangent: I mean if Sherry Shephard is a comic genius...then I am a Nigerian Olympic hurdler.] Riki Lindhome (Garfunkel) and  Kate Micucci (Oates) are like a breath of fresh air for me. Anyone who can namedrop Spiro Agnew and Stonehenge in a ditty about HJs is totally deserving of my commendation. [Tangent: Watch it here unless you hold me in any kind of esteem or are easily religious/offended.]


The show at Zanies was awesome, naturally, and was filled with funny banter and dance routines to Backstreet Boy songs [Tangent: I know a lot of their songs are about things girl experiences like smug pregnant women and douchey men and of ummm... this NSFW loophole. This made me really afraid it would be too vagina-centric and Jamie would hate it, but he loved it.], so I hoped there would be a chance after the show to meet the comedians, as is the norm at Zanies. [Tangent:Also, I was wearing a dress that coincidentally coordinated with theirs, so I thought perchance we could get a photo and we could look like a girl group a la Destiny's Child. The writing was clearly on the wall that this needed to happen!]

However, after the show everyone was asked to clear the building for the 9:00 performance. My group relocated to the sidewalk outside and hung out like vagrants for about 10 minutes hoping they'd show...as we watched three drunk middle-aged women mercilessly flirt with the emcee. We figured Micucci and Lindhome were just foregoing the whole meet and greet portion of the evening, because it was a back-to-back show. We found out later, through instagram and facebook tags that they were selling CDs and giving out stickers inside the very building we were asked to evacuate. Bummer. Foiled again for following directions.

Since I didn't get to meet Garfunkel and Oatsand provide any kind of pictures for this blog post, I decided to lazily photoshop myself into some scenarios. Like that time we did harmonies...



or when we took a group bubble bath in bathing suits!


That was fun. See...wasn't that almost better than the alternative? I guess I will have to wait till I see them next time.  Hopefully it will fall on MLK day so I can continue the tradition. 
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