Thursday, January 23, 2014

come on, eileen! (gmail be crazy: episode 2)

OK, for all those that read my post yesterday, you are aware that (without even trying) my Internet activities have been Twilight Zone crazy as of late. I'm not sure if I am being the victim of identity theft or if GMail is just taking some hallucinogens due to their changes in policy lately. [Tangent: You can read the hows and whys about that HERE. Basically, the Cliff's Notes version is that Gmail has made some updates so someone can contact you or show up in your contacts even if you have never shared correspondence with them.] A little over a week ago, I cuddled in with my laptop to check my email and I got a little *BLURP * signifying a Gchat message. [Tangent: I have only a handful of people I use Gchat with, and to be honest, it is pretty infrequent, so I found this notification a little surprising.] At the time, I was not aware of the changes, or aware that my Gmail account could be easily shape shifted into a circa 2002 chat room....UGH!

notice I have been nice and blocked out the last name to protect the perverted
At this point in the conversation, I just started laughing hysterically. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY ALWAYS FIND ME!?!??! The very brief conversation went on where this Eileen person [Tangent: I dare you not to make a Dexy's Midnight Runners joke...because it is near impossible.] just kept asking me if I wanted to see scandalous pictures or if I wanted to put my *BLANK* in her *BLANK*....to which I said a definitely "No! Please god NO!" and then explained to her that I don't have a *BLANK* so her concepts were anatomically impossible. Basically, she was barking up the wrong email address, so I blocked her in hopes she could find love elsewhere.

I felt so violated...I mean when I logged in, I expected to be met with a barrage of junk mail from Old Navy and MoveOn.org,; I didn't anticipate being cyber molested by a stranger. Gmail, Seriously? I am not a fan of these changes. Some sacred space is needed on the internet...if I was into this sort of random stranger danger, I would build myself a time machine, go back to the year 2000 and go into an AOL chat room.

8 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I know. It was TERRIBLE. I literally said "you are being super pathetic" about 75 times.

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  2. Creepy and hilarious!!! No thank you!

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    1. yeah. it was so uncomfortable. I think she thought I was playing hard to get when I said, "I am not clicking on any of your pictures. Please stop talking to me." Because she kept on. Luckily, through some clicking I figured out how to block.

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  3. You crack me up! This is so creepy… I probably would've told "Eileen" that I was 10 years old, just to see what she said.

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    Replies
    1. Hindsight is 20/20! When I was in college, we used to make ourselves sound as unattrative as possible in chat rooms just to see how people responded.

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  4. this literally would only happen to you :)

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  5. I know this assumption is based on a gender/name stereotype, but WHY would she think someone named KIMMIE would have a BLANK?

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