Let's state the obvious: I have a very generic name. Because of my popular name, I have gotten VERY accustomed to cases of mistaken identity. [Tangent: My favorite is that the other girl that shared my name in high school was a cheerleader...and at least once a year I would get her messages from student services regarding tumbling practice. NOPE. I guess it seems silly to assume that surely I am safe from this kind of stuff on gmail. WRONG!
For about two years, I have randomly been getting pictures sent from a cell phone and/or car insurance inquiries that were clearly sent to the wrong email address and not intended for my eyes. [Tangent: I wish I could say the pictures were scandalous..but they weren't. My name twins are equally boring. The snapped pics were mostly of a group of people sitting around a table at O'Charley's or of a girl giving massages (not sexy ones) as part of a massage therapy/PT class. Yawn. Not what one would hope...this girl is no Carlos Danger.] Usually I just reply with "You have gotten the wrong person, please remove me from this mailing list. Please and thank you."...unless, of course, you get in your inbox the following:
This was all followed by several email saying "Matches are waiting for you!" Oh my, how tempting is this? [Tangent: Because I am taken, clearly I am not gonna be signing up for a paid dating website, but damned if I don't think scouring some singles ads would be pretty amusing.] Seriously, fate could have not sent me a more entertaining present if it had tried.
As much as I would love to totally start Catfishing for kick, I don't have time for more side projects in my life, so I figured what could the harm be in looking at these matches and see what singles in Texas are looking for? [Tangent: I reckon I will have to find another way to meet Nev and Max.] I'm NOT gonna change anything or respond to any messages (AS MUCH AS THAT PAINS ME!) but her name and password is RIGHT THERE!!!! After looking over my shoulder for the shit eating grin of John Quinones, I logged in and learned that my doppelganger was a tall black divorcee. Yep, that's me.
Really all I cared about was to see what kind of gents were trying to meet the other "me." Although they listed other interests, it was clear most of them loved taking mirror selfies, using run-on sentence and misspelling adjectives [Tangent: We all make typos (I DO IT ALL THE TIME...probably in this post), but seriously dude, you're 30 and trying to impress the opposite sex, you should be able to correctly spell the word "handsome."]. Others preferred using really strange anecdotes to be alluring:
All of this being nosy makes me pretty glad I am happily off the market, especially if this is the wasteland that awaits singles on dating sites. I did, however, find one contender worthy of someone that shares my name. So, hey, other Kimmie- if you are reading this, give the middle school teacher from Ft. Worth a shout. He seems like good peeps."Its kind of funny to me that I've always liked wearing western wear.""[love to wake to] the sounds of the horse I can see outside my bedroom Window."
Stay tuned for part two...because gmail has been running OFF THE RAILS lately. If you have had similar experiences of mistaken identity...of course, I wanna hear 'em!