|*disclaimer: the woman did not drive onto my ramp....rather I let my ramp down to see if I had any chance in hell of wiggling my way into the vehicle. As you can see...I didn't!|
If you don't see the issue with this picture....let me explain: Everyone who has a handicapped placard has the right to park in a hadicapped space (even if they have a hidden/not obvious disability). However they do not have the right to park their vehicle in the zebra striped loading zone, [Tangent: YES. The stripes mean: STAY OUT, DOUCHEBAG!] which in my case is my only accessway to enter my vehicle.
A. Call security or the hospital police force to just sit there and tell me there is nothing they can do because the hospital is to vast to ask around or make an announcement and if they have a placard no law is being broken. [Tangent: Also the last time I did this, and tried to reign justice on a parking situation like this at work, when security came and we met the real owners, they turned out to be a man with no legs and his 80 year old wife on oxygen. I felt like an ass hat.]
B. Wait by my car for the owner of said vehicle to move his/her car like I am some knockoff Dog the Bounty Hunter. [Tangent: Here is my hastily photoshopped rendition of what I feel inside every time this happens...which is often.]
I opted to just run some errands in hopes that the car would have evaporated when I returned. When I got back, the car was still there all up in the stripes, but there was a lady with it rooting around in the trunk. The woman looked frantic but I had no issue whatsoever asking if she could kindly move her car a few feet to the right. [Tangent: Oh, I neglected to mention that she had roughly 50 feet of concrete to her right that was completely available as it was the dead end of the lot.] Her response, "My parking brake is stuck on. Just pray for me."
Weird reply, but whatever, I felt slightly bad for this lady so I offered to go grab the security to help her or even let her use my AAA card to get her towed to a mechanic. [Tangent: My desperation to get home was real.] Her response, "No...no. I have AAA, too. This happens all the time. The only thing that works is prayer. Just pray for me."[Tangent: I mean I am definitely not the expert, but we are outside a hospital where lives are hanging in the balance; I will wager that if god is hanging in Hillsboro Village that his attention is elsewhere...or let's hope it is. ] In a very nice conversational tone, I took that opportunity to educate her about loading zones and what stripes mean and the importance of staying in your space when parking. This was all news to her, which was baffling given that she stated that she was no spring chicken.
Clearly I was getting frustrated with this woman, but I usually try to at least act tolerant of people with very focused religious views. She milled around her car looking harried and intermittently making phone calls and trying to get her car to go in reverse. Nothing was working. I offered again to go get someone, her response, "Are you a Christian? Will you pray with me right now?"
Instead of saying, "no...I mean I am kinda sorta a cafeteria style Catholic at best" which would result in a very awkward long-winded speech and me going home with a purseful of pamphlets about my hell-bound soul, I opted to just bite it and go along with the woman. This led to a two minute prayer in the middle of the parking garage. Awesome. What made it slightly more bizarre was her rightfully doubting my prayer strength afterwards. "I hope that that was a mutual prayer. When two people pray together and it is mutual- it can ward off 6000 demons." [Tangent: Ummm...that seems like fuzzy math, but I'm not up on my scriptures, so it could be straight from JC's mouth.] Ugh, my frustration was building and this was the worst time possible to prophetize to me.
Apparently, she didn't trust the strength of my beliefs because she then got into her motor vehicle to call her cousin, who she deemed to be a true believer. [Tangent: She told me her cousin's prayers always have the power...which makes me wonder why she didn't call her immediately if she has a direct line to Jesus.] After a few more tries with starting her car, it finally popped in reverse!
Seriously, what just happened? My mind was still boggled when I called my best friend to tell her what had just transpired. We theorized that I must be some part of the TBN equivalent of John Quinones or Ashton Kutcher....like had I not driven away, Kirk Cameron would have popped out of her trunk and told me about the power of prayer. [Tangent: 1988 Kimmie would have been thrilled to meet Kirk Cameron....2014 Kimmie- not so much.] I didn't stick around to find the hidden camera.