Sunday, June 8, 2014

return to amish- at least my nearest equivalent

The other day, I got pulled into a Return to Amish mini-marathon on TLC. I don't know why I am so fascinated by this garbage, but I am. It's likely 86% postured for the cameras, but no matter what- when it's on, I am oblivious that any other programming exists. [Tangent: The same can be said for the Duggars. Watching them is like watching martians. I don't judge their lifestyle (too much)- I just know it is beyond my realm of understanding...I like to front hug way too much. ] 

 The whole concept of being Amish seems like my worst nightmare. Religiously strict. ugh. Plain wardrobe. No thanks. Eating meat out of a jar. Blergh. But probably the most unappealing is the whole no modern technology thing. That would definitely be my ass kicker. If I am at home, you bet your sweet tail that I am consuming every type of outside worldly media possible. [Tangent: Example, I am presently using the Internet, 2 inches from my iPhone and listening to music and an episode of 30 Rock simultaneously. Over-stimulation is my favorite state of being.] 

Last week,  I got a glimpse into what that wire-free life is like [minus the bonnets and name ending in -iah.] ...and I was NOT into it. For some mysterious reason (maybe storm related), our AT&T bit the dust Thursday morning, and we couldn't get a internet or cable until a tech came...which was 2 whole days later. Two days that I had off and was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to watch TV. Oh yeah, lets throw into the mix that Orange is the New Black was coming back and binge watching that seemed utterly heavenly. [Tangent: Not to mention that #OITNB was trending everywhere and when I would log onto Facebook on my phone, that is all anyone was talking about. I know...I know. First world problems, right? I don't care. It sucked.] 

Then I thought that maybe I should delve into my DVD collection and find something to watch because the silence was deafening and I had already been way too productive. [Tangent: Despite being a huge movie fan, I have never been a big DVD owner and buyer. The only ones I have were given to me or were borrowed at some point and never returned. I never resent this choice to live minimally in that capacty more than when the cable goes out. For this reason, my collection is a haphazard mix at best. ] I went through my tiny stack of 10 DVDs and settled on My So-Called Life. No one could understand my shallow angst at this moment more than Angela Chase. If there is one thing that could take my mind off being mad at AT&T, it's Jared Leto's pre-guyliner, pre ombre hair pretty self. 

I was pumped! This was going to be a great way to spend a Thursday night/Friday afternoon...until I realized that my DVD player had totally crapped out on me. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

So I guess what I am saying is I may have cried and spent the evening revamping my town on Simpson's Tapped Out and using the constantly buffering 3G, watching a Netflix documentary on my cell phone. [Tangent: It was about how all men are innately pedophiles. It was weird and led me barraging my boyfriend with lots of questions. I don't recommend it unless you wanna question every man in your life.]  I am hopeless.* Gotta go watch Orange is the New Black. Gotta catch up. Don't spoil it for me.

*I am sure this blog will be sited in medical journals and mommy blogs to come as to the damage done by excessive early childhood screen time. Oh well.


  1. I just renewed my Netflix account. I plan to try to get into OITNB. :)

  2. It's so good!! You won't be sorry


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