Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Tom Petty Redo

A little over 4 years ago, I got tickets to Tom Petty and was super stoked to go with my best friend. I had high hopes: checking another personal legend off my "to see live" list and potentially losing my voice screaming along with thousands of others, "Oh My My...oh hell yes! You got to put on that party dress." [Tangent: Tom Petty has always been present in my life...and I have never heard a song of his that I didn't like. My brother has a friend with the last name Petty, and for years I was convinced he was Tom's nephew...probably because my brother lied to me and told me he was. ]  What I didn't bargain on was missing the show. However, my excuse was was the great lung pop/body shortcircuited/Kimmie tried to die incident of 2010.

For the first few days of that debacle, I was on copious Michael Jackson drugs and out of it, but when I started to come to and realize what day it was, one of my first communications to my family after establishing what was going on healthwise, was to tell them to call Kristen and have her pick up my tickets at will call and go to the Tom Petty concert. [Tangent: In retrospect, the priorities seem a little fuckity...I mean I was on a ventilator and had a tube coming out of every hole in my body (and some places where holes weren't previously!), but I had spent good money on those tickets, and just because I couldn't go, didn't mean she had to miss it!] She went as instructedand told me all the time she felt super guilty about it. She wouldn't even tell me how it was...really until last night before we saw him again.

pardon the shadows and my greasy forehead
 Last night we got a re-do (4 years later) and Jamie got to come too. [Tangent: As many concerts as he has been to, he had never been to see a classic arena rock show and I felt glad to share that with him. He prefers smaller venues that cost under $15, but there is something to be said about the melting pot that is a show like this. The energy. The $45 concert tees. Women well past the "corsets in public" age doing so without apology. It has everything.]  
all my photos looked like garbage, so I borrowed from The Nashville Scene

It was fantastic and he played almost everything I wanted to hear! The encore closed with American Girl and the lights went red, white and blue and my endorphin levels shot through the roof of the Bridgestone Arena. So much happy. Tom Petty still has it and I still want to borrow his clothes and possibly marry him...but I will settle for being him when I grow up. [Tangent: Oh yea, Steve Winwood was there too...but we missed his entire set, so to make up for it...I watched this video when I got home.] It was definitely worth the wait.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Dancin' in The Dark with Strangers and the Avett Brothers at Americana Fest

My sinuses have been on strike lately, so it takes a lot to coax me out of my air purified bubble where Afrin flows like water and Sudafed is around every corner...the one thing that can get me out of my Hobbit hole is The Avett Brothers. [Tangent: Yep, this is gonna be another Avett post. Get over it!] Around this time every year Americana Fest is going down in Nashville celebrating everything about Americana and roots music (which I LOVE!), unfortunately it also happens the same week as Rhythm and Roots every year, when me and my honey go to his East Tennessee Home to see live music with his family.  This year because of baby watch 2014 [Tangent: My sister could drop that baby any moment...although I hope he will show his first sign of allegiance to his Aunt Kimmie and wait till Wednesday so I can get a day of work in and see Tom Petty!] I decided I needed to stay in middle Tennessee...and the announcement of the Avett Brothers headlining Americana Fest's on Nashville's riverfront show made this a no-brainer.

I know I am far from a fashion blogger, so feel free to judge me that I decided Americana Fest called for me dressing like a T-Swift Nashville cliche [Tangent: All that is missing is a boozy walk down Broadway and one of those deplorable pink cowboy hats with the attached tiara.]. At least I am owning this timeless look...besides, I don't get to wear my boots enough.

I hadn't been to a show on the Riverfront in FOREVER...I always plan on attending Live on The Green, but then remember I loathe parking downtown and crowds of people in their early 20s. Truthfully, I probably haven't been since seeing Better Than Ezra, clearly over 10 years ago, at the now defunct Dancin in the District or one of the many River Stages I attended in High School.[Tangent: Fun fact. Jamie and I both separately attended most of those and have since realized we were really close to each other at the Foo Fighters performance. Like ships in the night.] I did however remember that at most of these shows, there is is a handicapped section fenced off, because by nature, the riverfront hill is not the most wheelchair friendly. [Tangent: Or people friendly for that matter...we watched about 10 people fall down a hill. It was funny because no one got hurt...and I have an America's Funniest Home Videos concept of humor.] Here is a picture of me me in my own cute personal little petting zoo!
 This would have been great, but the fence was a little high, so the couple manual chair folks that came in couldn't see over at all...and that banner really wasn't helping [Tangent: We eventually pulled it down..because it was making it hard to see for some.]. I feel like if I didn't have an elevator on my wheelchair which raises me up to a height of about 5 feet, most shows would be a nightmare. After every tall person stood in my way, I eventually found my groove and found my window to the Avett Brothers and it was magnificent, as expected!

 They are hands down my favorite band to see live....which could explain why I have seen them 5x. So high energy and the always sound better in person. ALWAYS! After two hours, my voice hurt and my entire body was sore from dancing and stomping and clapping.  Of course, it wouldn't be a concert until I get awkwardly dance assaulted up on by a drunken (female) stranger....who wanted lots of interaction, high fives and hugs. It was a very You Go Girl situation  and kinda killed my buzz on Talk of Indolence, which is my jam! [Tangent: She blindsided/scared the shit out of me. One minute there was just me, Jamie and one other girl in my little concert quarantine, and next minute this new person is inches away from my face... dancing and kissing my hand. At one point, I heard her friend or loved one yelling, "what are you doing!?" and she yelled back "Dancing with my new friends!"....nope, missed the part where we were formally introduced. It was clear the other gal in the wheelchair next to me and I were trying our best to be polite, yet completely ignore her because THE AVETTS WERE ON STAGE! She wasn't getting it. She finally left by demanding a high five and telling me she loved me. Cool. I still didn't catch her name. Oh well, so much for friendship. There's one of these at every show. It's become annoying, but mostly really funny.]

Aside from that minor hiccup, the show didn't disappoint...I ran through the emotional rollercoaster. Tearing up and smiling as big as  the lady in the Black Hole Sun video. If all you know of the Avett Brothers is the more understated somber hits that have been on the radio lately...listen to this cover...unfortunately you won't have the pleasure of being danced on by a stranger. Too bad for you! [Tangent: I tried to embed the video, but Youtube is being difficult so this is gonna be a music post without music...anyway it's your favorite song from BeatleJuice...enjoy!]

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Netflix Documentary Hits and Misses Vol 2.

Last month, I spewed out my thoughts and feelings on what I had been watching on Netflix documentary-wise, so I decided to make it a monthly feature! [Tangent:  You can read the last one here.] Many people said it turned them on to some new titles, or that my blog was the tipping point that made them watch something that was collecting dust in their queue. [Tangent: Don't ever tell me you love something, because it will give me false confidence and I will keep cranking out more of an originally good concept till it is no longer good. This quickly could devolve into the Saw of blog features, but I am hoping it won't.]  I know I thrive on the power of suggestion, so here are some good ones (and some truly awful ones) that I have watched in September. [Tangent: With the constant shifting of titles that happens on the service, I was worried that some of these had gotten removed in the September 15th title purge, but rest assured, all are still available for your weekend binging.]

When I Walk - A
This documentary I had been wanting to watch for a while since a mutual friend connected me to the filmmaker (He's also behind the app and website AXS Maps). He's my facebook friend! Even so, I would tell you if the movie was horrid, thankfully it was anything but.  It follows a young man named Jason through his diagnosis and struggle with Multiple Sclerosis. [Tangent: Sometimes memoir style docs can be a little self-involved and boring, but since Jason was a practicing filmmaker prior to this life changing news, it was VERY well done.] Every pivotal moment of his journey was captured...his first fall that triggered him to know something was wrong, his first date with his future wife, and so many more tragic and wonderful insights. It was honest and lovely and this coming from someone usually very critical of how disabled people present themselves to the media. (Go figure). Go watch it.

Ping Pong- A
I love a movie about spry sassy old people and I love an inspirational sports film, and this movie had both. It follows the people competing in the world senior ping pong championships! I watched this with Jamie several weeks ago and we were giggling with delight for the entirety of the viewing! The ages of the competitors went into the 90s and they were all such characters. Spoiler alert: The American delegate is kind of a hard ass (albeit a hard ass with a splendid bouffant), so unlike World War II, you will probably be rooting for the Germans (because those ladies were the cutest!).
Pageant- A-
Before viewing this, I could already tell I would enjoy it. If Rupaul's Drag Race is on your DVR, you probably will too [Tangent: Considering the first contestant every kicked off, Victoria "Porkchop" Parker, is in this movie!]. I guess you can already presume, the doc is about the drag pageant, Miss Gay America 2008. Even though this kind of thing is my kind of thing, I think it would be enjoyable to most anyone. The backstory of these men is really compelling, and I live to see a gent topless in full contour makeup and a wig cap!  

Make Believe- A-
If you read my last roundup, you are fully aware of my obsession with Magic Camp. If you haven't yet watched that- make it a double feature with this little gem [Tangent: Unfortunately this one doesn't contain any weird thimble-based magic, but there is tons of talent, and a hotsy-totsy little female magician who everyone keeps uncomfortably telling to exploit her teen hotness.]. Not unlike Pageant or Ping Pong, it is a movie about a bunch of people from different backgrounds coming together to compete in a competition that is HUGE in their world, but you have never heard of.  This time it is the Teen World Championships of Magic. Not sold yet? What if I told you Ed Alonso (Max from Saved By the Bell) makes some cameos and it has an 85% on Rotten Tomatoes?

Girl Model- C+
As a gal who watched way too many seasons of America's Next Top Model and who loves a riveting expose, I thought I would LOVE this, and I did like it, but not as much as I had hoped.  The movie follows an American who works in Eastern Europe recruiting models to go to Japan. Are you following that? Basically the gist is that in Japan, they consider the ideal portrait of beauty to be white and VERY they seek models who are 14. It was equal parts about the recruiter and about the young girl, who at a very young age was removed from her poor tiny village and thrust into the overwhelming Tokyo. I wish it had been more about the latter and that all the recruiting footage had been cut down because the model's story was really interesting and eye-opening. The recruiter lady I didn't care as much about. Sorry...but not really.

In a Town This Size: A Documentary About Child Sexual Abuse - D-
Sometimes I can't sleep at night, so I put on things to watch on my Netflix App, prop up my phone and hope to bridge the insomnia. This was one of these movies [Tangent: No clue why I chose to watch a movie about child molestation while I was drifting off to dreamland time. I'm not the most sound decision maker. ] Anyway, the doc had a very gripping premise- a doctor in a small town had been victimizing children for decades and it didn't come out till years later. In the right hands, I think this movie could have been great, but it was really clumsy. It was all interviews and it was so strange because the camera kept panning over to the filmmaker, who was conducting the interviews, to show him just reacting and nodding. [Tangent: It reminded me of on SNL, when Bill Hader used to play the guy from Dateline Mystery. This is all I could picture. ] To be honest, I turned it off with 20 minutes to spare because I found it so distracting.

Ed Hardy: Tattoo the World- B+
To be 100% truthful, I set out to hate watch this movie. In the Ed Hardy world, I was a little naive. I knew he was a tattoo artist, but little else. I'm so glad I took the time to watch this, because I have now so much respect for Ed Hardy [Tangent: Yes, you read that correctly!] more for bringing tattooing into the mainstream, and less for the bastardization of said art on trucker hats and bedazzled tanks. His background explained his time in art school [Tangent: He has a huge portfolio of art that in now way includes a Tiger and/or flames.] and and in other countries honing his craft. I really enjoyed it, but probably due to the fact that I didn't expect to at all.

So Much, So Fast- A
Not unlike When I Walk , this film takes a very honest and direct look at a man and his loss of abilities after a life-altering diagnosis. Only instead of MS, this one deals with ALS. It seems timely, with all the attention to the disease after the viral ice bucket-ization of our social networks. In the last month, I have recommended this movie to several people who knew nothing about ALS, other than video challenges and diseased Yankees. [Tangent: I have seriously had the "what do you think of the ice bucket challenge?" conversation more times than I can count on two hands in the last month. Much of my opinions were based on things I learned from this movie.] When I was younger, our neighbor down the street and family friend, who was in his 30s at the time, had the disease and I watched him rapidly decline. It was very sad to see, but it made me never forget how terrible and indiscriminate illness can be, something I would see over and over in my life . When I watched this movie, also following a man in his prime, I was reminded of all that, and I learned a lot about why ALS has been ignored in the past for research. It is not a happy movie, but an important one.

20 Feet From Stardom- A
[Tangent: I actually watched this one a while ago, but forgot to include it in the last post.] This movie won for the best documentary Oscar last year, so my expectations were high, and met. It mostly profiled Darlene Love, who I only knew as the lady who sings Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) as tradition every holiday season on David Letterman. [Tangent: See it here.]. Whenever she would pop up every year, I remember in my naivete saying, "Darlene who?" not knowing what a legend she was in her own right, not only performing backup vocals on TONS of classic songs, but she also ghost recorded with Phil Spector for a lot of other performers in the 60s. This movie will likely make you truly appreciate what a thankless job being a backup singer is.

Bright Leaves- C-
This movie, truthfully, would probably be completely non interesting to most individuals, and to be honest, it was my visual Ambien for about a week. [Tangent: Like In A Town This Size, I only really put it on to watch late at night and each time, it put me to sleep.] The subject matter was one I was interested in because it was about the tobacco industry in North Carolina, its history and its past. Since, my dad's side of the family were farmers in that state, and I grew up visiting, it was one I wanted to see. The narrator found out through family lore, that a movie called Bright Leaf, released in 1950 and starring Carey Grant, was based on his Great Grandfather, a tobacco farmer who had his fortunes lost when Duke came in and took over the industry. It also reinforced what I already know about the smoking rates in that region, due in part to history and their dependence on it economically. Despite the man's calmly lilting and sleep-inducing Carolina accent, I did find it valid and interesting as a premise and had some takeaways. I think it could have been shorter, and I wish it hadn't tried to veer in so many directions. It was almost two movies Frankensteined together.

The Truth About Web Cam Girls- B
We decided to watch this one because it was short and looked moderately interesting. Beware it has lots of boobies and moaning, but that is pretty much what you bargain for when you cue up something with the phrase "Web cam Girls" in the title. You can basically guess the premise, it was a profile of 3 woman who make their living, an astoundingly good living at that, being live cam models in England.[Tangent: If models is what you call them...I am really not sure.] I love a "dodgy" British accent and seeing dimensions of people who are easily pigeon-holed as one dimensional. It was also really funny to me, mostly inadvertently, because this is a world I knew very little about.

Gotta Dance- A+
Truly, I saved the best for last! This is gonna be my Magic Camp for September [Tangent: How many times can I mention that movie in this post?], the documentary that I truly can not recommend enough. I feel the premise is enough to make you put it on immediately; the movie is about a rag tag senior hip hop team. If you are still logged on after reading that, and haven't immediately put it on your device, let me entice you further. This movie truly has everything: a true underdog component, unlikely friendship, a former beauty queen, a clothes try-on montage,  an adorable 80 year-old Asian woman named Fanny and DID I MENTION SENIOR HIP HOP DANCERS!??! Seriously, I recommend watching this and Ping Pong back- to- back to give you warm fuzzies to last you till December. Also, if Betsy and her alter ego Betty don't win you over, you have no soul and I don't want you following my blog anymore.

Happy viewing, ya'll! Is there anything I am leaving off that I should absolutely add to my queue now?  I am currently accepting suggestions for October.

Monday, September 15, 2014

THEY'RE BAAAACK: The Most Ridiculous Sexy Costumes 2014

In the years that I have been the master of this domain, there is nothing I have gotten asked about more than my annual attention paid to sexy Halloween costumes. [Tangent: If I took myself seriously or fancied myself a serious journalist (psshhhht.) than maybe this subject matter would be below me, but I know my wheelhouse. Sure, I could rant and rave about sociopolitical issues till the tides part, but I choose to use my blog as a platform to bring attention to another part of our cultural landscape that really stumps me- the sluttin' up of Halloween.] Even though, I am knockin' on the door of 32, I still  put a lot of thought and attention to a homemade fun costume. I don't take a lot of things seriously, but October 31st is sacred, mothertruckers! Because of the sanctity of the day, my initial distaste for the sexy costume stemmed not only from me thinking they are kinda trashy and more than a lot misogynistic, but because I thought they just weren't creative. However, this assessment was a little unfair, the liberties taken with beloved characters, animals, professions and hell even inanimate objects show inordinate creative license. My bad, sesxy salsa bottle, my bad. You are a true revelation, and I am sorry that I judged you.
Thankfully, my beloved one-stop shop for hooch accoutrement, YANDY.COM, is still crankin' out the nonsensical low-cut hits to show off your tas and in the case of some horrific costumes, your daddy issues. Once you fall down the costume rabbit hole on this site, there is a point of no return. There are hundreds upon hundreds of costumes and more have been added since  my 2013 roundup. To make it easier to digest, I have cut it into fun-sized categories!

Culture Shock and Awe

I know every season there is some huge hullaballoo against people appropriating cultures as costumes, but what if they are slit up to the vag? Maybe, like in algebra, two negatives make a positive.

I think this Indian Princess is hysterical, and really is pretty demure by Yandy standards. I do however think the name makes it sound like a candle scent, so I would like to campaign to rename it simply "the trail of tears." 

The vast array of Egyptian costumes, new this season, were very puzzling. I have never considered the Sphinx to be something bangable before. How was I so blind to that possibility? [Tangent: Although, to be quite honest, I think the dress part, if it were a couple inches longer, would  be almost cute for day to day.]

Objects are Sexy People Too! 

 This one isn't so bad in theory. Cute mini hat. Classic Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love" style dress. Nerdy nostalgia.  Until you consider that it is interactive and thus people are gonna be peeling pieces off your taint all evening trying to make a row.

 When I first saw this one, I sincerely wasn't sure what I was looking at. Mondrian enthusiast? Partridge family bus? Oh nope, there are Rubik's cube earrings, she's a Rubik's cube.

Even in 1995 when I had emblazoned every square inch of my 5-Star notebook with yin yangs, even then, at 13, I thought the idea of dressing like a yin yang was kinda stupid. I can only assume these two costumes are for very zen ladies that are into the duality of human nature and these looks are probably a hoot at the costume parties thrown by various philosophy departments and karate dojos.

All I can say is thank god for choices. What kind of sexy bubblegum machine do you wanna be? Are you the latex legwarmer, gumball fascinator type?  Or do you wanna shell out the extra $13 to achieve a classier look? I think if you are gonna go for sexy vending machine appeal, I think it's obvious that class is your goal..the upgrade seems worth it!

Good Enough to Eat 

 OK, sexy hamburger costumes are old hat [Tangent: I showed a different hamburger tube dress in my 2012 post.], but have you ever seen a woman in a tiny hamburger bun hat give a better "come get it" face?  Her straight outta Skinamax pout is really selling that lettuce leaf peplum so I hope this is now on the front page of her modeling portfolio.

 Oh, Mr. Peanut! "Incredible" is all  I can say.

Working Girls (Not like that...but maybe like that)

She may be a sexy dictator, but she is not the sexiest lord of fascism. Young Castro and Young Stalin would be more my bread and butter.

 Anyone can be running late to a Halloween party, stop by a Party City and pick up a slutty nurse costume..but a true genius mind to want to be a Marijuana clinic nurse. It is a very niche costume. 

Oh dear God. Do you think DeadMau5 had to sign some kind of waiver for Yandy to produce these? [Tangent: It is clear Miss Sexy Hamburger is getting all the winning looks!] I can't lie, though, that handy chest pocket for my iPhone would be a welcome addition to any outfit.

 The sentiments on that hat are nothing if not subtle. Otherwise, this is basically a uniform from Twin Peaks [Not the David Lynch version...the one with boobs and wings and beer, lest you think that this is what the log lady was wearing in her downtime.].

This one I had to look at about 700x. I scoured it for something that denoted an actual circus clown. Never in my 31 years on this spinning blue orb, have I ever seen a clown that bore it's midriff, wore no face paint or wig and had it's titties out. Is this the clown of the future? Do you think Pennywise has the cleavage to pull this off?

Beloved Characters (that may be DTF)

Ok,I almost like this one, because frankly, a cookie purse would come in handy! However, how is this actually the cookie monster? (unless you are color blind.)

To be fair, out of all the gremlins, gizmo is probably the most sultry, right?

 Jamie and I were Sonic and Tails last year and there was a point when we were scrambling to find orange pants for Jamie to wear, so he opted to wear jeans instead. Perhaps we could have circumvented that hiccup by just not wearing pants at all. Lesson learned. Also, our versions were cheaper...and warmer.

Your eyes do not deceive you. They are charging almost $100 for what you could easily make with odds and ends around your home.

There are seriously no words. 

At every Halloween party since 1995, there has ben that one guy that half-assed his costume by shelling out $9 on the way to the party on a Scream mask at Walgreens. Its the epitome of a lazy costume...well, meet it's sassy female counterpart. WHY IS THIS $58 by the way???!?!

This costume is actually kind of awesome. It's clear that it is not just a run of the mill captain, but rather a "cap'n" (crunch to be exact.) Raise your hand if you havent been attracted to a cereal mascot. I, for one, am more a Sugar Smacks Frog kinda gal, but different strokes for different folks.
Animal Magnetism

Oh man, I can't even look at these without laughing hysterically.  I don't know what it is about their poses, but it is clear they are truly channeling their inner spirit animals.

 This may be my favorite ridiculous sexy costume of the year, so I assume because of it's sheer awesome absurdity- it is sure to be a top costume this year.  I feel the need to save you guys $130, so just glue some googly eyes on your nips and pin some saran wrap strips to your micro mini, and you are the sexiest of invertebrates.

This costume is one of the more covered on the site and although, I know it looks sexy, head to toe latex cat bull suits do not breathe, my friend. Also, from "horny" puns to "lasting longer than 8 seconds",  the potential for pick-up line disasters is huge. 

And to prove that Yandy is equal opportunity when it comes it is they do...they have looks for men now! You are just some fun fur and a mesh tank away from being Mr. Funky Skunk Party Pants.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

When In-App Ad Clip Art Goes Bad

thanks bubble witch for the borrowed image and letting me put words in the cat's mouth!
 You may all know that I love a mindless app [Tangent: Like more than any sane and educated woman should.] and will play Words with Friends till my fingers atrophy and fall off from tile sliding. You could also assume that because I am thrifty, I refuse to shell out the extra $1.99 to make them ad-free. You'd be totally correct; paid apps are for suckers. [Tangent: I gotta save those precious pennies for extra moves on Bubble Witch, folks. Life is about priorities!] Because of this allegiance to free apps, I have to X out of some random pop-up everytime I make a move! 

Even though it's a real pain in the ass, I have discovered the true gold that is the in-app advertising. It is midday Jerry Springer local commercial awful. [Tangent: This should not be news, lest we forget the "Throw Stuff in her Butt" debacle of 2012.] Because I screenshot just about everything ridiculous which has flashed across my iPhone, I have amassed a little collection of terrible. [Tangent: I have already decided when I die, I need to assign someone to go through my phone and erase the screen shots.  The amount and content is incredibly embarrassing.]

I now submit for your approval, terrible uses of word and image in in-app pop ups. [Tangent: If I had used my advertising major to become a professor, I would do an entire lecture series on this.] The distortion between the what the ad is trying to say and the clip art chosen is so baffling.

Exhibit A: The Life Insurance Ads

This is one that I saw today and made me realize that blog time was nigh. I recognize this clip art, because it is VERY similar to the logo for my gynecologist's office. Abstractly, I guess I understand; preparing for the future today...I guess? But seriously, it's almost as if they just drew an image out of a hat and didn't wanna take the time to draw another one after realizing the one chosen missed the mark by a 1,000 miles. No one wants to think of an orphaned baby or worse yet a dead baby when they are playing a cell phone game...NO ONE!   

Exhibit B & C: The Financial Aid Grant Ads

OK, let's call a spade a spade- I make way less than 80,000 a year. And yes, from time to time, I toy with the idea of returning to school. Have I ever considered myself to be a unibrowed bucktoothed sock monster or a deeply offensive illustration of a yokel with Hobbit feet? NEVER! 

The latter is especially concerning. WHAT DID THEY EVEN GOOGLE TO GET THAT CLIP ART IMAGE? [Tangent: I am guessing "chinless + toothless + rosacea" or simply "garbage person."] Or worse yet, was there a whole meeting and an illustrator hired for this campaign? Madness!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

awards and hops and whatnot

In the last week I have gotten selected by other bloggers I follow and admire to participate in different blog hop/blog recognition activities. Last week Roz at Hello Martian Girl nominated me for a Liebster Award and then a couple days later Brittany over at Viva Bang Bang selected me (along with a couple other Nashville lovelies) to participate in a blog hop. [Tangent: Although I love these type things because they introduce you to new blogs you may not check out otherwise, I am generally TERRIBLE at chain letters and keeping things going. I realized recently that in the past I had been selected by my friends Rae at Say it Ain't So and Alicia at Spashionista for similar things, and kinda forgot about them. I am the worst! So ladies this is in part for 2 years later.  I am trying to become a less inept blogger.] If reading hypothetical questions bores you, then TOO BAD! You clearly weren't on Myspace 10 years ago, because that is basically the gist of that social ghost town. [Tangent: Maybe that's why it is basically extinct. Oh well. YOU ARE GONNA GET SOME HYPOTHETICALS!] Also this post seems to perfectly line up with my feeling like hot garbage and at a loss for creative blog topics. 

Rosa, or Roz, is a the lovely lass who nominated me for the Liebster. She is a crazy good illustrator [Tangent: If you follow me on instagram you may remember that amazing donut mermaid print I ordered from her Etsy.] and although I have never met her, I know we would get along because she seems to live her life with obsessive excitement. She dedicates her blog every Friday to Michael Fassbender after all.

The Rules:
• Thank the person who nominated you by linking to their blog.
• Answer the 11 questions the nominator gave to you.
• Nominate 11 other bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
• Create 11 questions for your nominees.
• Let your nominees know by getting in touch with them. 

1.  favorite pizza topping?
I generally just get meat and sausage because my boyfriend is whatever the opposite of a vegetarian is...but I like a good pizza loaded with spinach and mushrooms and...well yeah, pepperoni. 

2. what did you want to be when you were little?

I wanted to be a pediatric orthopedic surgeon or a QVC hostess. 

3. what famous male do you fancy the most?

Oh man. This is hard. I will go with Paul Rudd...but I am strangely mystified by the cheekbones of Mr. Cumberbatch. 

4. who is your favorite cartoon character?

Ralph Wiggum or Tina Belcher [Tangent: Although my current favorite is Bojack Horseman. Jamie and I have been watching that on Netflix and even typing it, I now have the end credits theme in my head.]

5. if you could have coffee/tea with anyone (dead or alive), who would it be?

Probably my grandparents who I never got to meet. 

6. your favorite place to be?

Is the beach a total cliche? Who cares...I am picking it. North Carolina beaches specifically.

7. what do you collect? or would like to collect?

I don't collect many things intentionally anymore, but I amass things like scarves, nail polish, tshirts and ballet flats. Oh and I own upwards of 40 cardigans. That's insane.

8. what/who inspires you?

Anyone who puts themselves out there for something they love. 

9. what film do you relate to the most? or see yourself in.

Oh god, I have no idea. That's really hard. Someone may have to answer this for me. 

10. favorite decade?

The 90's, hello! 

11. what are your obsessions?  

I am obsessed with 90s popular culture, halloween, having my coffee in the morning, mind numbing cell phone apps [Tangent: Currently Relay is rocking my world!] , Netflix, Target dollar aisles, buying things second-hand and about 100 other things. 

As for the passing the baton of the Liebster, I nominate everyone on my "blogs I love" list...anyone who is up to the challenge [Tangent: Feel free to chicken shit out. I have before]. I hate narrowing it to 11, so I am calling all ya'll out! Here are your questions, should you accept them.

1. What animal that is not domesticated would you want to domesticate?
2.  What is your personal anthem? 
3. Favorite Disney movie when you were younger? 
4. What is your guiltiest food pleasure?
5. What is your personal favorite blog post (not necessarily the most popular)? 
6. What's the most embarrassing thing on your phone?
7. Explain your blog's title
8. Have you ever gotten a trophy? If so , for what? 
9. What movie do you know every word to? 
10. Most embarrassing movie you have ever paid full price for...
11. What is the last thing you purchased online?

 Now, lets go to the hop (OH BABY!) [Tangent: Sorry I am such a tool.] Brittany over at Viva Bang Bang is the gal that nominated me for the blog hop. I met Brittany at a Nashville blogger meetup almost two years ago and she was in the early days of her blog. It has been fun to see her site grow and develop into an awesome resource to learn about really interesting modern artists (that I probably would not know about otherwise). Most of her posts profile someone or something in the design world. [Tangent: In fitting with her minimalist style, she only posed me only two questions...but somehow they were harder to answer than the 11 prior. ]

1. What am I working on?
As for the blog, I am working on consistency. I had several off months, and I am trying to write more and develop a reoccurring feature or two. [Tangent: I love when other bloggers do them, but just get easily bored/distracted.] In addition to my App Happy reviews, I am trying to work in my Netflix documentary roundups every month! Now I have an excuse for all my binging. As for other art stuff, I am actually trying to do it more. I just did a painting for my nephew and realized how much I missed the act of mixing paint.

2. Why do I write/create what I do?
I write because I like to and I find it fun. The day this blog turns into a chore, I will stop. There are so many opportunities that blogging has unlocked for me. I'm hungry for more.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Cat-Eyes from Firmoo (and discounts for you)

This is not a newsflash: I LOVE GLASSES. I'm not always a big jewelry wearer, so this is my way of accessorizing. Getting a new glasses prescription is a mixed blessing, though. After opening up the possibility of ordering glasses online, I have amassed an unnecessary collection. I love them, they suit my different moods and I always get compliments on them, however, I can't see through them as well anymore so I have to buy some new ones. [Tangent: Somehow, according to my Costco eye doctor (who I recommend highly for a cheap, fast and stress-free exam) my eyesight is improving and I no longer have an astigmatism. Am I Benjamin Buttons'ing?] Goodbye old frame friends, hello new power shopping online. [Tangent: In case you are wondering what to do with old specs, I highly recommend donating them to the Lion's Club. Learn how here.]

Luckily, because I am an affiliate with Firmoo, they sent me a voucher deal so I could get some at a lower price. They are already freakishly affordable, and the turnaround time is speedy for impatient people like me. [Tangent: OK, right quick,  I have to do a mini PSA about affiliates and sponsorships and what-not. Why they work sometimes and why sometimes they are awkward and stupid. When I was income-less, I signed up to be an affiliate with a lot of different online companies out of sheer desperation. To be honest, it didn't wield much because most of the "links" I was offered were for discount lace-front wigs, adult diapers and E-cigs. True Story. After all that, I kinda decided it wasn't worth it because if it's not something I use or think is a good product, what do I care? I'm not hurting for blog fodder, and can find better things to write about. However,  when Firmoo asked me to work with them and offer special promotions to my readers, I was on board because I was already using their product and loving it! I realize I was an advertising major in college, but I am not here to blow smoke up your b-hole.]   

Here is what I love about this company: 
  • Affordability (most of the ones I looked at were under $40...that is with lenses)
  • You don't have to upload your RX (that's a personal thing. Other companies do it and I find it annoying, because if it is expired, even by a day, they ask that you get a new script.)
  • Quality (they are sturdy and even though they are cheap, they don't look it.)
  • Freebies (Each pair comes with a sturdy case, a soft case, a cleaning cloth and a small tool to tighten up loose arms)
  •  Lots of options
  • Very consumer/blogger friendly (most of their marketing is done with bloggers and social media and I admire that. Keeps the overhead low and prices down.)
Because my eyes are far apart, big and go slightly down at the corners, I have surmised a slight cat eye is the way to make me look less like a dim-witted fish while wearing spectacles. Cat-eyes also makes me feel like Joan Allen's character in Peggy Sue Got Married or Luanne in Shag...two great ancillary characters from 80's films based in the 50's. [Tangent: Frankly, I'm surprised I don't have a Netflix section for this sub-genre.] I'm very thankful Firmoo had a ton of frames to match these specifications.

I love a virtual try on feature, so I tried on A LOT of pairs, because why wouldn't I? This is my version of a fashion show montage [Tangent: I am a sucker for one of those! Any film worth it's salt has a try-on montage in front of a big set of mirrors where Girls Just Wanna Have Fun plays.].

After much consternation, I decided I needed 2 pairs. I settled on the second and third pairs (for now) although that collection is subject to grow soon [Tangent: Mostly because not that I look at the outcasts, I want them!].  In about a week I have worn them out a ton, and they don't give me headaches or leave weird marks on my nose. [Tangent: Although that could be attributed to the fact that my prior eye exam was all wrong.]  Here is the cavalcade of pictures of me looking really casual in my new know, as one does .

OK, so what is in it for you? Well, if you are thinking of buying with Firmoo, now is the time! They are celebrating their 5 year anniversary and are offering a unique discount code to blog readers. You can get 40% off your purchase (from now until Sept 10) with the code: FIRMOO5Y  (On a totally self-serving level, if you do decide to take advantage of this deal or make a Firmoo purchase in the future, use THIS LINK or the banner in my sidebar to buy through and I get a small percentage of the sale!)

The Unauthorized Saved by The Bell Story...and a party to celebrate

Since apparently I am a magnet for controversy, I thought I would really hit it into hyperdrive:  DID YOU WATCH THE UNAUTHORIZED SAVED BY THE BELL MOVIE ON LIFETIME!??! Wasn't it awful?

I'm sure you have some idea by my frequent love letters to 90s popular culture, that I am a fan of my decade. It should be of no surprise that my viewing of the Lifetime (LOOSE) adaptation of Screech's book Behind the Bell quickly devolved into a theme party. [Tangent: It started out my friend Ryan just was coming to watch it with Jamie and I (because we knew we would be texting through the whole thing anyway). I then  just decided to have a few other of my trivia team members over who enjoy things like this (aka trainwreck spectacles of ridiculous). I am generally the worst hostess ever, so this was my attempt at being fun and themey.] I dug through my home for props including my father's old brick phone and my Kelly Kapowski Halloween costume from a couple years ago, which Ryan put on in the 85 degree weather with little hesitation. To go along with the burgers and fries menu, the day of,  I decided we needed red food baskets like at The Max. [Tangent: Thankfully this only took a couple stops to find. They were at Target on clearance from their summer BBQ stuff.] Unfortunately, Jamie had little time to learn magic tricks, so he opted to buy Tab, because for some reason, that is still readily available even though I haven't seen anyone in public drinking it since '92.

best picture of the evening!
 We also made a makeshift photo booth around an awkward Zack and Slater poster than Ryan had from an old "All About Saved by the Bell" book that he bought from a scholastic book order in middle school. That book seemed more informative and edgy than the garbage fire that was the lifetime movie. [Tangent: At one point Rae read a section aloud from the Screech section where he recounted women in the audience screaming "King Lord Stud" at him. I found that hilarious and doubtful, but it was the 90s. Who knows?]

I don't think you can see it, but Zack has an earring here. It's very strange.
I decided not to crop Travis out, because his reaction is so good.

I had out my Saved By the Bell board game, which we intended to play, but never got around to. Even though I adopted it from Goodwill about 2 years ago, I still have yet to make it through one round of that game [Tangent: Where the whole point it to get dates with both Zack and Slater by the end. Lofty goals, I realize!] .

OK, but really the whole point of having a handful of people over was to watch the Unauthorized Saved By the Bell Story. Due to my affection and nostalgia, I had REALLY high hopes for the movie, but it was not good. [Tangent: Unless you have a denim vest fetish or like constant exposition or hearing Kameo and Bel Biv Devo on a loop (because it was clear they had a hard time getting licensing rights to songs).] The casting was very strange, although I felt Lisa and Screech were pretty good facsimiles of their original counterparts. [Tangent: At one point on instagram, I took a picture of my screen during a famous pink fuzzy border dream sequence and the dude playing Screech commented. I audibly screamed and laughed for a good 5 minutes. It might have been the highlight of the night.] The Zack looked like C. Thomas Howell in the Outsiders to me [Tangent: "Ponyboy, Stay gold!"] but after someone I found on instagram made this comparison, I couldn't unsee it: 
Sincerely, I am glad that I watched it, but it kind of went nowehere...and took 2 hours to do so. I felt they had so much scandal to work with, but really the most shocking takeaway was learning that Zack Morris was 1/4 Indonesian. Sexy, right?  [Tangent: And that big reveal was at the very beginning, and probably common knowledge if I has looked on IMDB of Wikipedia.] Even though it was disappointing, it was a Lifetime by those standards, it was just a step below "Friends Till the End."

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