Thursday, January 1, 2015

Lisa Frank Makes it Weird

For days I have been trying to knock out a blog post, but inspiration was clearly not on my side, thus leading to a bevy of random paragraphs with meandering points that now clutter my drafts folder. [Tangent: My new year's goal is to read more and create more. These seem vague, so  easier to accomplish, but hopefully this will result in more blogs, artwork and less relying on buzzfeed and Entertainment Weekly as fine literature. I was doing so good with reading until the past year, and truthfully I have maybe only completed 2 books. That's disgusting.] It's as if the universe knew that I needed something to write about, and thus sent me a painfully awkward interaction with a stranger. MY BREAD AND BUTTER! 

 It was a normal tuesday, and my friends and I were cashing out our tabs where we we play weekly pub trivia. Nothing really super out of the ordinary [Tangent: Ok. Except maybe for the fact that we were 14/14 on the final question which was match these 90's sitcoms with the network they appeared on. I mean how are you not gonna know that? Oh wait, most people weren't as indoorsy as I was as a kid and had other pursuits. I hear ya.] Then suddenly I heard a voice over my shoulder saying, "Oh my goodness! Is it your birthday?"

Oh damn, I could see where this was going. [Tangent: OK...small thing- I neglected to mention what was sitting on the table in front of me. I may or may not have been sitting adjacent to a light up box of Lisa Frank stationary emblazoned with a technicolor kitten wearing a tiara. My friend Bethany lovingly bought my trivia team friends ridiculously amazing heartfelt Christmas gifts, and she knew that it would bring a smile to my face.] Everyone at the table could see where this was going. We all made our attempt to salvage the situation.

"'s Christmas"
"Don't you love it? It's Lisa Frank!"
"It's kind of a joke."

The situation bail-out wasn't going as planned so this nice woman continued, "You look like you're having fun. Are you having a nice time?" To which I replied uncomfortably, "sure." [Tangent: This wasn't a lie. We came in third place and I was riding pretty high on my knowledge of onions that helped me get a question right earlier.] "I'm glad you're out having fun. I've been watching and you look like you're having a good time. Merry Christmas." [Tangent: Maybe a little creepy.]

Damn. That. Smiling. Kitten. [Tangent: Just kidding! Did you miss the part where I mentioned that it lights up? It's awesome, just poorly timed.]

OK. I really hate coming off like a total bitch, I know the lady meant well, so I tried to be friendly. But people of earth, STOP DOING THIS! I daresay, these interactions almost exclusively serve the commenter and not  the recipient of the comment. [Tangent: I love a compliment. Tell me you like my boots or that I'm funny or that my nail polish is the perfect nude...don't commend me doing something completely existing or smiling.] It gives the commenter warm fuzzies like they have really brought some sunshine into the situation, but it almost leaves the person who gets the comment bewildered and made to feel like a toddler.  [Tangent: To be fair, when I am in public, I am not aware of my behavior or appearance. I openly interpretive dance to Katy Perry songs and gesture wildly and can only imagine that it looks like my mental stability should be called into question. Fair enough.]

I guess the moral of this story is if you are 32-year-old adult and have an affinity for Lisa Frank- prepare for condescension. It is inevitable.

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