Friday, March 13, 2015

It Smells like Updog in Here* (or where I've been lately)

*That title is terrible, I fully recognize that. I was struggling with naming this post to catch everyone up to speed, and resorted back to a joke that no one has used in about 10 years. Oh well. That's how I roll.

OK so I have been absent lately and I suck but life has been crazy. [Tangent: You know how they say "When the shit hits the fan" well the shit didn't just hit like an overhead fan, but then like an oscillating fan and then up through the vents and then maybe bounced off one of those tiny handheld fans that people used to carry around Opryland. Is that too graphic...well good, then you are getting the idea!] That whole things happening in 3's definitely rings true. Here is the long and short of it in emoji form...in case you have a short attention span. 

First off- my car decided to poop out right around the first of February and I really had no real direction on when it would get fixed. When you drive a car that is robot in nature, everyone is afraid to fix it out of fear that they will somehow ruin it! [Tangent: I can only liken it to if you were a Centaur and you get sick...a regular human doctor doesn't want to treat you, nor does a veterinarian so finally you just go to one and demand treatment and hope for the best.] So needless to say a slight steering noise quickly escalated into my car being in the shop for 3 weeks. This is no bueno, [Tangent especially since wheelchair hand control custom rental cars are not a thing.]

Then on Valentine's Day, Jamie took me out to have a hot night on the town to see Shovels & Rope at the Ryman. We were both really excited until we realized we had left the tickets at home...after we had already fought through the Saturday night/Downtown/VDay Nashville traffic. When I called home to ask my mother if they had gotten left behind...I quickly realized that we would have needed to promptly come home anyway. Mom had broken her hip. After driving home the fastest that Jamie's car would carry us, we spent our February 14 calling an ambulance and hanging in the emergency room. Memorable for sure, perhaps not for the best reasons.

Then the ice storm took Nashville by storm. [Tangent: Pun intended...maybe...maybe not. Haven't decided.] If you aren't in a wheelchair, you will never understand how much I loathe ice and snow if I have anywhere to go. [Tangent: Imagine how difficult it is to drive in and then wonder what that would be like if your car only had 2 wheel drive and tiny tires. Yeah, you would be spinning your wheels forever.] If I can be inside drinking cocoa in pajamas, I am all for it- but unfortunately I had to get to a hospital to see my mom and run errands for the family.  [Tangent: Even though I was carless...so the I guess the issue was null and void.]

Luckily the normalcy is starting to return to my world. Weatherbug says that tomorrows high will be 66.  Although my van is in the shop again today [Tangent: Apparently you need functioning brakes and rotors to drive! Who knew?], I am getting it back this afternoon. And most importantly, Mom is doing really good. She is walking almost normally on her bionic hip and despite the fact that I love her hot pink cane, she almost doesn't need it anymore. [Tangent: She had adopted a new life motto: new hip...ready to rip!] I'll try to not go missing for long expanses. I miss blog life too much.

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