Wednesday, July 15, 2015

App Happy Review: YouCam Makeup

I know it has been eons (or maybe a year) since I have posted an App Happy review [Tangent: You can read some of my greatest hits here.], but stumbling across YouCam Makeup seemed like the worthiest reason to return to blog reviews. Let's start by being frank- I am not always fully made up. I try to wear makeup (at least) to work, and despite owning hypothetical caboodles worth of glamourizing products, I usually get by on wearing the bare minimum. This apathy towards makeup application as of late unfortunately coincides with the fading of my beach tan, my hair needing a trim and the sprouting of a colony of cluster zits on my forehead. [Tangent: Thank God for bangs, but even those can't keep these little assholes under cover. They have apparently gotten really pissed at me for my skincare regime keeping them at bay and adopted "go big or go home" as their motto. More than once they have peeked out from underneath my carefully placed bangs and people have said with a mix of shock and concern, "what is happening with your face!?!"] It's some real sexy stuff, ya'll. Anyway, my point is not to horrify you by my 32 going on 13 face, it's to show you that YouCam Makeup can make your dreams come true!  I can look like a total garbage person and come out looking amazing.

OK, I should probably post some kind of disclaimer like "Beauty is only skin deep" and "find power in your flaws", but we all know that if given the chance to see what we looked like with a dewy glow, perfectly coiffed hair and a bold lipcolor (without having to worry about getting it on the teeth), you'd at least give it a go, right? [Tangent: Seriously, beyond being a fun diversion, this app is kind of screaming for people to use it for Catfish bait.]

Anyway, when my friend Laura sent me a text urging me to download it ASAP, I heeded her suggestion. She has never steered me wrong in the arena of frivolous time wasters...and has seen it as an activity that she can share with her family.

At first, it took me a while to get anything that halfway resembled a realistic looking makeup look. Instead of taking advantage of the predetermined and curated "looks" or using this as a chance to check my eye baggage, I was going full shock and awe- face paint! long blonde hair! Complete facial trimming! Colored contacts! The effect was not exactly "come hither", it was more "oh hell no, kill that thing!"

Slowly I adapted and gave myself some looks that were slightly more reasonable and subtle. [Tangent: ...and of course my "more reasonable and subtle" includes pinky lavender hair...which I now want. After seeing this, I thought I looked dang hot- definitely channeling a perkier St. Vincent , but Jamie definitely thought I was giving off a decidedly more TBN vibe. Touche. I would have settled for Dame Edna I suppose.]

Oh, and that reminds me, the best part is you can turn your male friends into pretty pretty princesses! Jamie and Ryan were my guinea pigs, per usual. 

All in all the point of this whole blog is a disclaimer that if I post a picture with the hashtag #flawless #IWokeUPLikeThis and I'm sporting full face of airbrushed tan and eyelashes that smack you in the sternum, chances are I am in reality rocking some fierce chin acne and eye baggage. The mirage of "giving a damn" will  all be brought to you by YouCam Makeup...until they can recreate the magic in 3-D as my friend Laura envisions.

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