Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Cliche (but Vital) Blog Post Alert: Summer Game Changing Products to Carry You Into Fall

You know how bloggers are forever telling you about their favorite products. It's a cliche, right? Well, too damn bad...because I am about to tell you about mine. [Tangent:I always feel mildly awkward writing these kinds of posts, but then I remember that I get so many product tips from blogs I read, so why not pay it forward and share my discoveries?] These things I've discovered over the summer and they have been total game changers. To be 100% frank, they saved my ass and made me feel not disgusting on multiple occasions. I love them so much that I am willing to start drafting legislation so I can legally wed them. It's. That. Intense.

1. Mario Badescu Acne Products
A few years ago, my skin just decided to crap out on me. Somehow I made it through my teens with fairly decent skin, [Tangent: Perhaps some sentient being knew that I had a lot on my plate with braces, glasses and a back brace...they knew I had to be spared some mortifying they gave me a pass on pimples.] but that just meant I got the delayed blessing of adult acne. I know...I know...this oily skin is keeping me young and I will love it when I am low on wrinkles, but in the meantime I am dealing with massive quarter sized assholes living under my skin's surface. On multiple occasions, I had taken to wearing a bandaid on my face like I was Nelly (or a lesser St. Lunatic.) It's out of control.

Over the years, I have probably purchased every product (at least once...if not twice) and finally after a particularly gross outbreak in mid-summer and years of urging by my sister, I splurged on Mario Badescu and I swear I will never look back. Everyday after removing my makeup, I use the Mario Badescu Special Cucumber Lotion, aka the magic potion, and put the  Buffering Lotion  on any sign of possible zittiness. I've also picked up the drying cream [Tangent: It's like magic, you pat it on your zits to cover them up and they heal them and allow you to wear makeup without feeling like you're being counterproductive. The fact that it works makes the weird smell totally worth it. ] and the Mario Badescu Acne Facial Cleanser. After seeing improved skin, spending $20 on a product isn't such a big deal. They're also fairly natural and they don't test on animals and are paraben free and all that good stuff. [Tangent: I am aware their hyper-generic packaging makes these products look like you bought them from a guy at the Farmer's Market that makes tonics brewed in his bath tub, but they are the best I've tried. I choose to think they spend all their money on science and making it work and less on marketing. ] If you don't know exactly what you need, they have an Acne Starter Kit to help you figure it out.

2. Dazzle and Daze headbands
I'm 32, which means all of my friends have babies and many of them with girl babies put them in ridiculous yet adorable headbands. As a joke one day, I told my friend Alex that I was really jealous of her 8 month old daughter sassy topknots and turbans. She then linked me to Dazzle and Daze telling me, "Oh they make them for adults, too."  Dammit. The power of suggestion and getting what I wished for. Beacause they were a good deal, I bought a grab bag of 10 with every intention of taking them to A.R.E camp and giving them to all the teen and tween girls [Tangent: Because I felt like tweens could pull off a hair accessory more effectively than I ever could.] , only the package came late so I kept them all. EEPS!  I really didn't need 10 headbands, or did I? For several weeks I didn't wear them because I had the internal monologue:
"Can I pull this off? Do I want to be that woman unironically wearing an adult bow? Is this an adult bow? How does one determine when something leaves 'knot' status and becomes a bow? How do I feel about this? I already look 12, do I want to push that to 11? OH THE HUMANITY!"
Then I put one on as a way of disguising the fact that I needed a haircut, and you guys, IT LOOKED REALLY CUTE! Here's proof via instagram. In fact I now wear one nearly everyday. It even passed the test with my most brutally honest friend who actually complimented me on it. I'm officially no better than a toddler, but I am A-OK with it...because toddlers are fuggin' adorable.

3. Soap & Glory The Righteous Butter Body Butter
My skin is awful, which I think has been addressed by #1. As gross as my face tends to get, my body is meanwhile sluffing off like a snakeskin at zoo's reptile exhibit. [Tangent: It would not be in the last bit shocking if one day I find a human shaped skin sheath left behind in my bed sheets. Too graphic? I can't decide. My internal TMI compass is forever wonky.] Even knowing my skin's predilection to dryness, I still take hot showers and forgo lotion most days [Tangent: I am always trying to cut steps out of my morning routine, and unfortunately this is one that always gets left on the chopping block. I never said I make smart decisions.]  Skipping lotion is usually fine until I get to work and feel my flesh shrinking up on my body making me feel tight and itchy, then I slather on some nonsense that I got in a gift basket or free with purchase that smells like funfetti cake or a french prostitute's fruit drawer or something similar. It's a vicious cycle, and Ulta must have known when they sent me the Righteous Butter as a gift with my last order [Tangent: It's as if Mr. Ulta himself was like, "Kimmie, get your shit together. Your skin is upsetting us all."]. It is perfect and soaks in fairly immediately without leaving my feeling like a glazed Krispy Kreme. I keep it in my purse so I can lube down when I start to feel parched throughout the day. I can't tell you how great it is and how it smells like dryer sheets [Tangent: My smell of choice.] and NOT like a tropical bordello. [Tangent: And not to judge a book by its cover, but the packaging is adorable and makes up for the fact that the other two beauty products I'm currently obsessed with are lacking in that area.]

4. Dickinson's Daily Refreshing Clean Cleansing Cloths
I have a hoarding problem when it comes to face wipes. I can't sleep with any makeup on my face so that proves I am not a complete garbage person, and to meet this goal I keep some kind of face wipe conveniently stowed around my house.  I always went through them so quickly that I tended to stock up because I wasn't brand loyal, and they're all the same, right? WRONG! Some leave a film. Others dry out. Some smell like baby urine. They all have some fatal flaw that I can't quite get past. I got these Dickinson's witch hazel wipes as part of an Influenster voxbox [Tangent: Yeah, I got them free which I have to disclose, but in no way had to write about it...I just feel compelled to.] and loved the way they made my face feel as soon as I got done using them. The smell was not completely ideal, but I got over it quickly because dammit, they worked so good and made my face tingle in the best possible way. The whole antiseptic natural qualities in witch hazel helped my blemish-ridden face get its act together. I just ordered more of these bad boys on Amazon yesterday because I have a hard time finding them except at Walgreen's. 

Ok. Those are the things which have rocked my world for the better. 
What have you been forever changed by?  

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