When my car decides to totally poop out on me, it can go it one of two extreme ways; it can be a quick fix or a drawn out crap storm...and let's face it- it usually goes the more shitty route. [Tangent: It is clearly an indication of my day so far that three synonyms for excrement are in the introductory sentence. I make my family proud that way.] When you drive a robot car that begins with a series of beep-boops instead of a key in the ignition, you grow accustomed to mechanics and people in general approaching your car like it's a purple unicorn. [Tangent: You can see the wheels turning as they stare at you wordlessly with no idea how to react. What do you feed a purple unicorn? Can you touch it? Is it real? Where did it come from? Will this purple unicorn bite me?] For this reason, despite having forged relationships with nice people who are fearless when it comes to cars that operate like video came consoles, I'm always a bit harried and nervous when I have to do even the simplest car maintenance with a new stranger. Without fail, tire changes, oil changes and tows can easily shape shift into nightmares.
Even calling AAA to schedule a tow usually includes me telling them at least 37x that I need a flatbed and not a traditional tow truck and I prep the customer service person multiple times that I am in a wheelchair and that the car is not your traditional van. Even before hanging up, I throw in one last "make sure they know to send a flat bed and make sure they know its a handicapped vehicle." I then pace around the deck for an hour as I wait to inevitably be frustrated. I'm the worst.
Well, today was a day when I needed help. Like a petulent toddler, my car decided it just wasn't going to cooperate. [Tangent: Cooperation entailed having an operable door/ramp combo and going in reverse.] Then like a bearded angel with reflective coveralls, my tow man showed up totally unphased by my unique car situation. [Tangent: I am always prepared for the possibility that my beast van may prove to be too much of a liability for someone that isn't used to working with it.] He gruffly shared that he had done this before and proceeded to climb in and sequentially hit the buttons like he was a quadriplegic in a past life. Color me impressed. Here is a close approximation of my repsonse.
[Tangent: Oh yeah...this whole blog is pretty much an unsolicited promotion for AAA. Seriously ya'll, best investment ever.]