Friday, October 9, 2015

Get outta my dreams, get into my robot car.

When my car decides to totally poop out on me, it can go it one of two extreme ways; it can be a quick fix or a drawn out crap storm...and let's face it- it usually goes the more shitty route. [Tangent: It is clearly an indication of my day so far that three synonyms for excrement are in the introductory sentence. I make my family proud that way.] When you drive a robot car that begins with a series of beep-boops instead of a key in the ignition, you grow accustomed to mechanics and people in general approaching your car like it's a purple unicorn. [Tangent: You can see the wheels turning as they stare at you wordlessly with no idea how to react. What do you feed a purple unicorn? Can you touch it? Is it real? Where did it come from? Will this purple unicorn bite me?] For this reason, despite having forged relationships with nice people who are fearless when it comes to cars that operate like video came consoles, I'm always a bit harried and nervous when I have to do even the simplest car maintenance with a new stranger. Without fail, tire changes, oil changes and tows can easily shape shift into nightmares. 


Even calling AAA to schedule a tow usually includes me telling them at least 37x that I need a flatbed and not a traditional tow truck and I prep the customer service person multiple times that I am in a wheelchair and that the car is not your traditional van. Even before hanging up, I throw in one last "make sure they know to send a flat bed and make sure they know its a handicapped vehicle."  I then pace around the deck for an hour as I wait to inevitably be frustrated. I'm the worst. 

Well, today was a day when I needed help. Like a petulent toddler, my car decided it just wasn't going to cooperate. [Tangent: Cooperation entailed having an operable door/ramp combo and going in reverse.] Then like a bearded angel with reflective coveralls, my tow man showed up totally unphased by my unique car situation. [Tangent: I am always prepared for the possibility that my beast van may prove to be too much of a liability for someone that isn't used to working with it.] He gruffly shared that he had done this before and proceeded to climb in and sequentially hit the buttons like he was a quadriplegic in a past life. Color me impressed. Here is a close approximation of my repsonse. 


Without being a cheese dick and all "Chicken Soup for the Soul," everyday is full of unexpected reasons to let out a deep breath of thankfulness. Today mine was that my tow man was a transfomer expert in disguise. [Tangent: Oh yeah...this whole blog is pretty much an unsolicited promotion for AAA. Seriously ya'll, best investment ever.]

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