Wednesday, December 16, 2015

a heartwarming holiday story about internet weirdos

So wanna hear a fun Christmas story about getting contacted by a weird stranger on the internet who is trollin' for some wheelchair lovin? Well neither do I!  Neither does anyone really (unless I have somehow missed that Hallmark channel film starring Mark Consuelos and Lacey Chabert), but you are gonna hear it, so buckle up!

About once a month, I get a like on my blog's FB page that raises some eyebrows/questions. [Tangent: It's one of those Sesame Street Style "One of these things is not like the other" scenarios!] Amid the list of seemingly normal followers, peppered in will be a few men with the word "dev" somehow squeezed into their name creatively. [Tangent: You may remember my blogs about my devoted deviant fans here.] Their profile picture will look alarmingly similar to a DMV or passport photo... and it will be the only picture of themselves on their page. Every other photo will be of sexily posed women in wheelchairs or with crutches or missing limbs. At that point the freak flag gets raised, and they get the big BLOCK from yours truly. [Tangent: This is not just me being judgey and a little freaked out by the devotee lifestyle, but also because frankly, I don't think they are buying what I'm selling... It's pretty unlikely that they're following my blog because they can't wait to hear about my Saved By The Bell musings.] It's such an oddly predictable string of events that truthfully that they sometimes fly under my creep radar completely; I only am only caught off guard when they leave a comment or send me a message.

Here is a screenshot of one of the message chain that befall my inbox last week. The name has been removed to protect the horny: 

Does he think I run a dating site? How does one even respond to something like this. [Tangent: Also, a little bit of a pro tip: If you have to say you don't have a just might.] This guy must think that I am somehow the Heidi Fleiss of the wheelchair community. Should I be flattered? Should I not have blocked him? Clearly he is just looking for love, and in his desperation, did a blanket Facebook search for all sites with the word "wheelchair" in it. Maybe I should tell him to give Kylie Jenner a call....

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