Tuesday, July 19, 2016

My Nine Fictitious Characters

Perhaps it was the fact that I was weened on the world of game shows, but I love a challenge. I also love an introspective curve ball, so I was kinda pumped when the site I contribute to occasionally, The Ravishly, posted a challenge on their Instagram page- make a grid of the 9 fictional characters that you most identify with. Media is more or less my life, so one would think this would be a slam dunk. [Tangent: Curve ball? Slam dunk? Who the hell am I with all these sports metaphors? Please keep reading even though I have the creativity today of a middle schooler working the sports beat for their school paper.]

Spoiler: It wasn't as easy as I initially supposed. After a lot of consternation, texting, conversation and focus grouping, I concocted my list. [Tangent: By now, you should in now way be shocked at my clinical approach to this matter.You may recall a similar dumb childhood crush challenge I undertook here.]Why was it such a struggle? I guess as self-aware as I think I am...I'm probably not. I could easily point out characters that reminded me of those in my life, but nailing myself was kinda hard [Tangent: Both literally and figuratively. Zing.] You don't want to be too generous or too hard on yourself...or rather who you think you are. [Tangent: Don't worry my ever-the-softie mom was hard on me for everyone. When I posited the question to her, she picked Lucy from Peanuts (because she's bossy) and Tina Belcher (because of er "hair, glasses and weird boobs". I love ya, mom.] I mean I've never been one who has aligned myself with a particular cast member of Girls or Sex in the City. I mean, at best, I can say that if I was a Golden Girl, that I'm definitely a Sophia. That counts for something, right?

After some hemming and hawing, here are the ones I finally settled on...although I have thought of several since narrowing it down to this top 9. In no particular order...



1. Jimmy Valmer (South Park)- A character with a disability who use humor at is own expense to get people to love him. Umm. yeah. Big time. 

2. Donna Meagle (Parks and Recreation)- I felt the need to include a Parks and Recreation character because there as SO many good ones. I picked Donna because at her heart she is a good person but she can come off as a little harsh. She values her friends and has a low bullshit tolerance. Although I could easily be an April/Tom hybrid (I'm not organized enough to be a Leslie.)

3. Maude (Harold and Maude)- The perfect ray of light and life in a darkly hilarious movie. Sure picking a near octogeneraian as a spirit animal seems bizarre, but I'm an old lady at heart. 

4. Veronica Sawyer (Heathers)- I feel like she is more a kindred spirit when I was in high school and even today.  Veronica has a lot of friends, but still more or less marches a bit to her own drummer and never completely feels at home in one niche. Also, even though Christian Slater in that movie is completely mentally unstable- he can get it. 

5. Daria Morgandorfer (Daria)- Not only is this the only famous person that I have ever been likened to visually [Tangent: You can read more about it here.] , but when I asked my best friend who she identified me with, this was her immediate answer. I love her, and am only jealous I don't pull off combat boots so flawlessly. Trust that I have I've tried.  

6. Liz Lemon (30 Rock)- The patron saint of women writers in glasses.  It's hard not to fill 9 squares with her, but we all now I look awful in a blazer and am not near as successful.

7. Elaine Benis (Seinfeld) Elaine is definitely my id....she is me if I had 50% less filter and 75% more hair. Scary, huh? Not unlike Elaine, I love having male friends who can be somewhat insufferable. 

8. Chandler Bing (Friends)- Again, this could not be any more obvious? Keeping people at a distance and keeping up a sarcasm wall at all times. Yep. I see my faults in Chandler more times than I care to admit.

9. Amelie (Amelie)- I am a bit less of a wallflower than Amelie, but I get the whole watching and living vicariously through those around you.  She is without fail my observant side. 

Well now that I have rounded the bases, I would love to hear who makes up your team. DAMMIT! Sports metaphors!  

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